


freshgays

by galaxialapine



Series: freshgays [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: AU, I haven't written in ages, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, OT12 (EXO), Swearing, Texting, and this fic isn't improving my health at all, i'm drowning in feels, just twelve babies being dumb and chaotic, please excuse me, send help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 32,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22600390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxialapine/pseuds/galaxialapine
Summary: when there's trouble it's usually baekhyun, and once again, he never fails to disappointAKA just your friendly neighbourhood chaotic chat group. ot12.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Oh Sehun, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris
Series: freshgays [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855084
Comments: 92
Kudos: 165





	1. gentlemen, gentleboys and gentlegays of all ages

**Author's Note:**

> usernames (in order of age)
> 
> minseok: marshmallow  
> luhan: luge  
> yifan: galaxy fanfan  
> junmyeon: mom  
> yixing: lay's potato chips  
> baekhyun: bacon  
> jongdae: chendae  
> chanyeol: loey  
> kyungsoo: iwillsooyou  
> zitao: t a o  
> jongin: kaa  
> sehun: yehet
> 
> props to @[jaytriestowrite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaytriestowrite/pseuds/jaytriestowrite) for beta-ing!!
> 
> fun fact: jay came up with soo's username and i am living for it
> 
> minseok, jongin and sehun will be added later
> 
> i take most of my inspiration from my own group chat; we're filled with enough chaotic energy to rival 10 ot12 exos

_bacon_ created group "kkaebsong gays"

 _bacon_ added _luge_ , _galaxy fanfan_ , _mom_ , _lay's potato chips_ , _chendae_ , _loey_ , _iwillsooyou_ and _t a o_ to the group

 **bacon** gentlemen

 **bacon** gentleboys

 **bacon** gentlegays

 **bacon** of all ages

 **bacon** im sure you must be wondering why i have brought us here together, on this fine sunny day

 **luge** it's 1 in the morning

 **bacon** on this _fine sunny day_

 **bacon** we have congregated here today, for better ease of communication

 **t a o** i don't like where this is going

 **bacon** SO THAT with the power of our nine measly brain cells we may assist three of our fellow comrades in this room

 **bacon** and get them laid

 **bacon** once and for all

 **lay's potato chips** you called?

 **iwillsooyou** bold of you to assume we have brain cells

 **loey** mood

 **t a o** what makes you think we want your help

 **iwillsooyou** what he said

 **chendae** wtf i thought you were kidding when you said you'd make this group

 **galaxy fanfan** i didn't realise so many of us knew about jongdae, kyungsoo and tao's pathetic love lives

 **luge** oH

 **lay's potato chips** sOmEbOdY

 **loey** WE NEED SOME _MILK_

 **chendae** exCUSE ME

 **mom** Fan,,,,,

 **loey** w h i p p e d

 **bacon** but anyway

 **bacon** seeing as your love lives are going pathetically

 **bacon** and im sure we're all sick of hearing them pine after their loverboys

 **bacon** we are going to get you l a i d

 _t a o_ has left the group

 _iwillsooyou_ has left the group

 _chendae_ has left the group

 _bacon_ added _t a o_ , _iwillsooyou_ and _chendae_ to the group

 **bacon** not on my watch motherfuckers

 **t a o** fuck

 **chendae** please

 **chendae** what have i done to deserve this

 **loey** befriend us

 **chendae** shut up

 **chendae** i'm happy just watching him from behind the cashier at the cafe

 **chendae** just leave me alone

 **loey** lmao no

 **bacon** ^^^^^^

 **iwillsooyou** and what makes you so sure that you can pull this off

 **bacon** like i said

 **bacon** the power of our nine measly brain cells

 **iwillsooyou** like i said

 **iwillsooyou** bold of you to assume we have brain cells

 **lay's potato chips** oof

 **chendae** on what dad said though

 **chendae** i'm fairly certain not all of them know about minnie

 **lay's potato chips** "minnie"

 **chendae** ***minseok

 **luge** honey we don't need to know him to know you're w h i p p e d

 **bacon** :o

 **galaxy fanfan** so for context

 **t a o** ge no

 **galaxy fanfan** tao's been pining after dance freshman

 **t a o** gE NO

 **galaxy fanfan** oh sehun

 **t a o** GE PLEASE

 **galaxy fanfan** for like a semester

 **t a o** i...trusted...you

 **iwillsooyou** wait

 **iwillsooyou** oh sehun???

 **mom** Yes, your dear Jongin's best friend Oh Sehun

 **iwillsooyou** HYUNG

 **lay's potato chips** ohoho

 **lay's potato chips** you have good taste

 **lay's potato chips** you and jongin are p compatible tbh

 **iwillsooyou** what makes you think i like kim jongin

 **lay's potato chips** what makes you think i wasn't referring to business major yang jongin instead

 **iwillsooyou** i

 **loey** lkadsjflkadjsf

 **iwillsooyou** how do you even know him

 **lay's potato chips** he's my junior in dance

 **bacon** fyi jongdae's minnie aka kim minseok is an applied music major if i'm not wrong

 **bacon** so now that we have introductions out of the way

 **bacon** time to get them laid

 **chendae** baekhyun no

 **bacon** baekhyun yes

 **t a o** i'd rather suck ass than let you set me up

 **iwillsooyou** we know you want to suck sehun's ass

 **t a o** kyungsoo

 **galaxy fanfan** you were literally jacking off and moaning "oh yes right down there sehun baby" yesterday

 **t a o** gE

 **chendae** brb rinsing my eyes with bleach

 **luge** hey quick suggestion how about uhhhhh never saying something like that here ever again

 **luge** "oh yes right down there sehun baby" smh you need help

 **mom** Damn we really do need to get you laid

 **loey** KSNMDKFKDKF HYUNG

 **bacon** AHA

 **bacon** IT IS AS THE MOTHER AND FATHER HAVE DECREED

 **bacon** you, my lovely little thirsty dongsaengs, are going to get the men of your dreams if it's the last thing i ever do

 **iwillsooyou** it very much will be the last thing you ever do if you don't shut the fuck up

 **lay's potato chips** kyungsoo

 **lay's potato chips** what if i hmmmmmm told you that op's sister's friend's boyfriend's brother's wife's brother-in-law's daughter's soul sister's pet parrot said that kim jongin the dance freshman maaaay be interested

 **iwillsooyou** what

 **lay's potato chips** like

 **lay's potato chips** he wants to bang you

 **lay's potato chips** kind of interested

 **iwillsooyou** what in the fresh fuck

 **lay's potato chips** did i fucking stutter

 **loey** harder than that one time soo forgot his glasses AND contacts and walked into the wall?

 **iwillsooyou** chanyeol i swear

 **lay's potato chips** haha anyways

 **lay's potato chips** if you ever want his number hmu

 **lay's potato chips** @ **t a o** you too @hunnie too

 **t a o** aye

 **t a o** snapchat me that poosy

 **galaxy fanfan** what

 **t a o** ***number

 **chendae** meanwhile my lonely ass

 **chendae** wait dad do you have any classes together with minnie

 **galaxy fanfan** i gotchu son

 **bacon** well this is working out splendidly

 **bacon** can't wait to add our new freshgays here

 _bacon_ changed the subject from "kkaebsong gays" to "freshgays"

 **luge** freshgays

 **luge** i love it


	2. in loving memory of gregory the gingerbread man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jongdae's mother gets him a gingerbread man but he's too cute to eat. zitao declines weed but ends up pursued by his dealer. chaos ensues.

**chendae** guys

 **chendae** my mom got me a gingerbread man

 **chendae** but he's too cute to eat

 **chendae** what do i do

 **galaxy fanfan** murder him.

 **loey** AAAAAAAAADGASDFHJDFG

 **chendae** bUT

 **chendae** I HAVE A WEAKNESS FOR CUTE FOOD

 **chendae** _image.jpg_

 **bacon** LKAJDFLKJADLFKJSD

 **chendae** LOOK AT HIM

 **lay's potato chips** c o n s u m e

 **mom** Just eat him

 **chendae** nO

 **chendae** NO I CANT

 **loey** HYUNG YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER HOW COULD YOU

 **galaxy fanfan** don't talk to your mother like that

 **bacon** accepting applications for a new dad, former dad E N D E D on account of lack of sympathy for s o n

 **mom** Don't talk to your father like that

 **luge** _whipped_

 **iwillsooyou** he looks so asian

 **t a o** HAHA TIME TO DIE @ GINGERBREAD MAN

 **loey** N O

 **chendae** NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **lay's potato chips** YES

 **luge** DECAPITATE THAT FUCKER

 **t a o** RIP OF THE LIMBS ONE BY ONE

 **t a o** AND CONSUME

 **chendae** ASDLFKASKDLFJS SHOULD I PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY

 **iwillsooyou** he only exists for you to eat him

 **iwillsooyou** savour his body

 **bacon** GIVE HIM A NAME LAKSDJFLKJSDF

 **luge** NO THAT WILL ONLY ADD TO THE SUFFERING

 **chendae** ALKSDFJALKSJDFJ

 **t a o** STOP

 **t a o** ONCE YOU NAME THEM YOU GET ATTACKED

 **t a o** attached

 **t a o** aTTACHED

 **t a o** NOT ATTACKED DEr gOD

 **bacon** KAKSFKAJSFLKJS BUT

 **iwillsooyou** c o n s u m e h i m

 **chendae** b-but mY GINGYMAN

 **mom** STOP IT

 **mom** JUST EAT HIM

 **chendae** mom i

 **chendae** i can't

 **galaxy fanfan** jongdae for fUCK'S SAKE

 **iwillsooyou** hE ONLY EXISTS FOR YOU TO EAT HIM

 **t a o** JUST EAT HIM YOU PUSSY ASS SHIT

 **iwillsooyou** EAT

 **luge** EAT

 **galaxy fanfan** EAT

 **mom** EAT

 **lay's potato chips** EAT

 **bacon** NO DON'T DO IT

 **loey** nOOOOOOOASODFASDKFLJ

 **chendae** i

 **chendae** i-i'm sorry gregory

 **galaxy fanfan** THE FUCK KIND OF NAME IS THAT

 **bacon** THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS RESPECT HIS MEMORY 

**bacon** JFC DAD

 **loey** in loving memory of gregory the gingerbread man

 **loey** born 10 feb 20, died 10 feb 20

 **luge** he savoured life till the very end

 **luge** but life savoured him more

 **t a o** asldfkajskdflj i'm choking

 **bacon** bet you'd like to choke on something else

 **bacon** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **t a o** ADKSKDMSKVKSK STOP

 **loey** what makes you think we'll stop when you didn't when we told you to have mercy on gregory

 **iwillsooyou** he would have died anyway

 **chendae** go suck on a dick kyungsoo

 **iwillsooyou** for fuck's sake

 **galaxy fanfan** this would all have been easier if you hadn't fucking named him and gotten attached like tao said

* * *

 **t a o** hypothetically

 **t a o** if someone came up to you

 **t a o** and offered you some weed

 **t a o** and you didn't want it

 **t a o** but they didn't want to let you go

 **t a o** and have been following you for at least an hour 

**t a o** what would you do

 **luge** wtf

 **luge** why would you turn down weed

 **t a o** _hypothetically_

 **lay's potato chips** gotta love how lu-ge's more concerned about the weed than tao

 **mom** I'm mildly concerned for your priorities

 **galaxy fanfan** boy

 **galaxy fanfan** you literally took wushu for like half your life

 **galaxy fanfan** drop kick him the fuck away

 **mom** Threaten to call the police

 **mom** Also you're probably more experienced than him

 **t a o** what if they're like super big and buff and scary and you don't dare tho

 **iwillsooyou** aren't you like 185cm

 **iwillsooyou** and you're saying this guy's taller than you?

 **t a o** ya

 **loey** is he still following you

 **t a o** ya

 **luge** ask him for some weed

 **luge** please

 **mom** Luhan-hyung

 **lay's potato chips** get me some too thank

 **mom** Yixing

 **galaxy fanfan** tbh i wouldn't mind some either lmao

 **mom** YIFAN

 **iwillsooyou** go to a crowded area

 **iwillsooyou** either lose him in the crowd

 **iwillsooyou** or call the police

 **chendae** or both tbh

 **chendae** you can also go into a mall or shop or something and approach the front desk for help

 **mom** Bless you

 **t a o** fuck i just managed to get them off my trail so thanks

 **t a o** @ **mom** @ **chendae** @ **iwillsooyou**

 **luge** my weed

 **galaxy fanfan** my weed

 **lay's potato chips** my weed

 **lay's potato chips** ayeee jinx

 **mom** Accepting applications for a new husband, former husband ended on account of lack of concern for son

 **galaxy fanfan** i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chat has been tweaked to suit ot12 more, but the gingerbread man fiasco was a legitimate thing that happened two christmases ago and honestly gregory was not worth all the fuss


	3. tao's weed stalker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zitao's weed stalker is back. sehun jumps to the rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from here on i may occasionally switch to prose form, but the majority of the fic will still be presented in the chats!

**t a o** help

 **t a o** i was wrong

 **t a o** they found me again

 **mom** Oh my god

 **galaxy fanfan** where even are you

 **t a o** hongdae

 **t a o** so luckily it's crowded enough

 **t a o** but it's been two hours why are they still following me

 **t a o** just leave me alone

 **lay's potato chips** oh shit

 **luge** wtf why're they so persistent

 **t a o** can someone please get me

 **t a o** i'm actually scared

 **iwillsooyou** fuck i'm at like

 **iwillsooyou** gangnam

 **bacon** oh shit

 **bacon** yeol and i are at everland

 **loey** it'd take ages to get there

 **loey** i'm so sorry

 **chendae** my family's going over to my grandparents' so i can't make it

 **chendae** jdjdkdkdkd

 **galaxy fanfan** okay hold on

 **galaxy fanfan** we're getting ready to leave

 **galaxy fanfan** jun and i'll try and get there asap

 **lay's potato chips** lu-ge and i are otw to the nearest station

 **luge** make sure you stick to the crowds

 **iwillsooyou** i'm omw too

 **iwillsooyou** try to lose him again

 **mom** Until then, just keep walking around and make sure you stay on your phone

 **t a o** i love you guys

* * *

Zitao glanced furtively over his shoulder and cursed in Mandarin, picking up the pace. The shady man appeared to be around his age, and looked vaguely familiar - perhaps he'd seen him around on campus? - and his massive build and imposing height hinted at some background in bodybuilding. Despite having practised wushu for half his life, and being of remarkable strength himself, Zitao wasn't sure if he would be able to face off his pursuer. 

He unlocked his phone and glanced at the screen anxiously. Yifan and Junmyeon were stuck in traffic. Yixing and Luhan had just switched to Line 2 at the Dongdaemun History and Culture Park station, and Kyungsoo had just left Bongcheon station. Zitao only hoped that he'd be able to blend in with the crowd and lose the man following him behind. He really wasn't in the mood for being forced to snort a handful of marijuana,

He barely avoided bumping into another pedestrian, and the two staggered backwards. Zitao opened his mouth to apologise, but his breath hitched and a strangled noise came out of his throat instead.

Oh Sehun, university freshman and the boy he'd been eyeing for half a semester, was blinking confusedly at him, dressed in urban street clothes and rearranging the red beanie that adorned his blonde hair. Zitao sputtered, trying to form a coherent sentence as Sehun's eyes shifted behind, and then back to him.

"Hey man," he said, reaching forward and clapping Zitao's shoulder. "Didn't expect to see you in Hongdae, Zitao."

"I come here every weekend," Zitao answered immediately. He thanked the heavens that his reflexes, honed by years of wushu training, had miraculously carried on into his daily life, and hoped the awkwardness in the pat he gave Sehun went unnoticed by his pursuer.

"Oh shit same!" Sehun exclaimed, slinging an arm casually around Zitao, who barely contained the high-pitched squeal of delight that threatened to escape his mouth. "We can go for boba, there's a shop further down that sells really good chocolate boba - "

He guided Zitao down, making numerous turns around corners and rambling loudly, until finally he looked behind and then removed his arm from around Zitao's shoulders awkwardly.

"Uh," he said, voice suddenly meeker as he stuck his hands in his pockets and toed the ground, "sorry if I was overly touchy back there."

"Dude, you _saved_ my fucking ass back there," Zitao blurted out, and mentally drop kicked himself. Here he was having his first proper conversation with his crush, and he had to ruin it with the profanities. What would Sehun think?

"Ah, it's no problem." Sehun chuckled shyly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm Oh Sehun. I'm a dance freshman."

"Yeah, I know," Zitao replied.

"You do?"

Shit. "Um," he supplied helpfully. Why, of all days, did today have to be the only day when he couldn't reply like he normally did?

Thankfully, his phone rang at that exact moment, and he excused himself before taking it.

"Xing-ge?"

"Huang - Zi - Tao - " Yixing's voice sounded strained, and there were faint thuds in the background. "Where are - you - "

"I'm outside Innisfree."

"Okay - stay - there - " With that, the call cut off, and Zitao let his hand fall back by his side, confused.

"You know Yixing-hyung?" Sehun asked, and Zitao started, remembering the boy in front of him.

"Yup, he's a friend of mine. That's actually how I know you - he sometimes talks about you."

Good job Zitao. Good comeback. Zitao mentally gave himself a pat on the back.

"Nice," Sehun said. "You're Huang Zitao-hyung, aren't you?"

"Yup."

"Ah."

The two of them lapsed into a semi-awkward silence. Zitao wondered if he should say something, but then Sehun cleared his throat and said, "I actually have to go meet my friend."

"Ah," Zitao said lamely. "Okay." If he took a shot for every time one of them said "oh", "ah" or "uh", he'd probably be dead from liver failure. "Uh. Thanks for just now. Again."

"It's no biggie," the younger shrugged. He turned to leave, but, in a burst of confidence, Zitao called after him, making him turn around.

"Could I get your number? To, like, pay you back for your help or something?" Sehun cocked his head to the side, and Zitao blabbered on, "We could actually get boba if you like? There's a place I know in Gangnam if you're ever free."

Mentally, he screamed at himself. This was his cue to drop out of university, move to the countryside and become a farmer because heaven knows he couldn't face Sehun again after being so straightfoward. To his surprise, however, Sehun grinned and took out his phone. In an anti-climatic turn of events, they ended up exchanging numbers without much hassle, and Sehun bid Zitao goodbye before sauntering down the streets.

Zitao waited until Sehun was out of sight before letting out a strangled whoop and clutching his chest. He met Oh Sehun. He got Oh Sehun's number. He possibly had a da - hang-out session with Oh Sehun. Even when Yixing, Luhan and Kyungsoo showed up, the dizzy smile remained plastered onto his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually went to look at the train map to look for stations which were far apart from each other for this fic, and i'm also kinda basing off my travels in korea (when i went on the train)
> 
> honestly...i'm not as confident with my prose as i am with my chat format, so i hope that i was articulate enough TvT
> 
> if you have any chapter plot prompts you'd like to see, feel free to let me know in the comments below! the current overall general plotline is to get jongdae, kyungsoo and zitao laid but there will be side plots per chapter on what happened to a suggested member that day (and maybe it may become the next general storyline!) :D


	4. sehun and boba

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zitao thirsts over sehun and boba.

**loey** ay so

 **loey** what happened in the end with the weed guy

 **loey** @ **t a o** you aight?

 **t a o** i'm certainly aight

 **bacon** ah that's good

 **t a o** today is a good day

 **loey** not forgetting how you were stalked by a weed dealer for two hours...?

 **t a o** no you don't undersTAND

 **t a o** todAy. is a GOOD. day.

 **t a o** my gay heart 

**bacon** never knew he had a stalking kink

 **luge** lmao no

 **luge** his cowardly ass can't even shower alone

 **loey** but anyway how did you lose the weed guy

 **t a o** asdkfjfkdck

 **lay's potato chips** apparently sehun was in hongdae and helped navigate him away

 **luge** it's been like half an hour and tao's still so starstruck

 **bacon** oho

 **bacon** do tell

 **t a o** listen

 **t a o** he was so cute up close

 **t a o** he was wearing a beanie. a BEANIE.

 **t a o** and then he came up like "hey man didn't expect to see you in hongdae zitao"

 **t a o** and when i heard him mispronounce my name in his cute as fuck korean accent

 **t a o** twelve years were instantly added to my lifespan

 **t a o** i asked him if he was down for boba and he said yes

 **t a o** i mean i want boba but i also want to date him

 **t a o** hhhhh

 **luge** whipped

 **iwillsooyou** he's literally blubbering right next to me on the train

 **galaxy fanfan** bless him he was so happy when we fetched him jn

 **loey** ayo waddup kris

 **galaxy fanfan** ayo wassuuuup

 **iwillsooyou** every time i hear chanyeol say yifan-hyung's english name in that wannabe white accent twelve years are deducted from my lifespan

 **loey** kyungsooooo :(

 **luge** yea lmao it's not even a kris it's a krease

 **luge** with that greasy ass accent

 **mom** Did you mean

 **lay's potato chips** hoe don't do it

 **mom** KREASY ass accent

 **iwillsooyou** i will actually sue you

 **mom** SOO me for all I care

 **mom** :)

 **galaxy fanfan** accepting applications for a new husband, former husband ended on account of horrific wordplay

 **iwillsooyou** why are we still using that line

 **lay's potato chips** it's lowkey one of our catchphrases lmao

 **t a o** but can we get back to how cute sehun is

 **t a o** i want to date him

 **bacon** we know honey

 **chendae** sflr tldr what'd i miss

 **loey** tao's thirsting over sehun and boba

 **t a o** correct.

 **t a o** oh

 **t a o** he dmed me

 **t a o** holup

 **bacon** hoe what he say

 **t a o** _forwarded_ hey this is sehun

 **t a o** _forwarded_ i had dinner plans with my friend tmr but hes sick and my mom wont be home to cook for me

 **t a o** _forwarded_ do you wanna go down to gangnam for boba and dinner?

 **iwillsooyou** oh wow

 **loey** damn

 **loey** he's got game

 **chendae** go for it omg

 **t a o** yea but i was supposed to meet mom tomorrow alksdjflkjsdaf

 **mom** No go meet him

 **mom** I'll just rot at home haha

 **lay's potato chips** careless careless

 **luge** shoot anonymous anonymous

 **chendae** heartless mindless

 **mom** No one who cares about me

 **galaxy fanfan** i care

 **mom** Oh really

 **mom** "accepting applications for a new husband, former husband ended on account of horrific wordplay"

 **loey** OH

 **lay's potato chips** BIG FAT OOF

 **galaxy fanfan** D':

 **mom** I'm kidding I still love you

 **galaxy fanfan** :'D

 **bacon** brb crying over how wholesome our parents literally are

 **t a o** okay but what was that random english for though

 **luge** the love and stability are strong in this relationship and i am living for it

 **chendae** get you a man who loves you like mom and dad love each other

 **iwillsooyou** minseok

 **chendae** whyyyyyyy

 **galaxy fanfan** anyway don't worry about tomorrow

 **galaxy fanfan** i'll take jun out for you

 **galaxy fanfan** so take your man out

 **mom** Don't go too fast though

 **mom** Make sure the two of you are comfortable with each other

 **galaxy fanfan** be chill

 **t a o** aight

 **bacon** our baby is growing up

 **t a o** i'm literally one year younger than you

 **luge** you're our baby :D

 **lay's potato chips** this is like some big chaotic gay family

 **loey** lmao yeah yifan-hyung's the dad and junmyeon-hyung the mom

 **loey** and the rest of us are the kids

 **bacon** maybe we'll have three more kids soon

 **mom** Maybe!

 **galaxy fanfan** we already have so many

 **mom** It's just three more Fan

 **galaxy fanfan** true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to this day i still have no idea what accent yeol was imitating when he did the iconic ayo waddup krease


	5. a man of plot with porn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the members discuss the accuracy and toxicity of the depiction of bdsm in fifty shades of grey
> 
> a lot of the chat is taken from my conversation with my friend kat! check our her profile @[sohnsonsun on ao3](http://archiveofourown.com/users/sohnsonsun/works)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> \- BDSM, but not in graphic detail. rather, the "technicalities", as well as the supposed way to roleplay kinks, are debated upon in this fic  
> \- DUBIOUS CONSENT (borderlining non-consensuality, so PLEASE TAKE CAUTION)
> 
> most of these are based off whatever fics i've read and aren't really from experience so inaccuracies are in order

**loey** so baek and i just finished watching 50sog

 **bacon** full offense it sucks

 **t a o** why the fuck were you even watching 50sog

 **t a o** it's not even good

 **t a o** or accurate at all

 **loey** IKR it was so bad

 **bacon** how do you know whether bdsm is accurate

 **bacon** have you ever done this shit with any of your exes before

 **t a o** nah

 **t a o** neither of them were into that kinda kinky shit

 **chendae** probably from all that hentai you watch

 **t a o** first of all it's called smut

 **t a o** and i don't watch smut, i _read_ it

 **t a o** smut is better off in word form left to the imagination

 **lay's potato chips** smut and hentai are synonymous my dude

 **t a o** smut has PLOT

 **t a o** hentai is just porn

 **t a o** i am a man of plot with porn

 **lay's potato chips** right,,,,

 **iwillsooyou** i've never watched 50sog but is it true that the bdsm portrayed is inaccurate

 **loey** i wouldn't know man baek and i haven't gone that deep in

 **chendae** holup

 **chendae** yall have been together since freshman year

 **chendae** and yall still do vanilla sex?

 **bacon** we had a slight bondage phase

 **bacon** back in soph year

 **loey** but even then we didn't even do that much

 **loey** the only things we tried were tying up and daddy kinks and that's it

 **luge** a daddy kink

 **bacon** listen we were 20

 **luge** no shame in having a daddy kink

 **luge** just didn't see you to be into the daddy shit

 **loey** oh he wasn't the daddy

 **chendae** you mean to say byun baekhyun, walking sexual innuendo, wasn't the daddy in the relationship?

 **lay's potato chips** did you seriously expect baek to be the daddy in the relationship

 **chendae** hey i don't assume roles

 **lay's potato chips** fair enough

 **iwillsooyou** okay but how inaccurate is the bdsm in 50sog

 **t a o** @ **iwillsooyou** 50sog had basic bdsm but christian grey was the shittiest dom and realistically speaking no sub would want him as their dom

 **iwillsooyou** isn't bdsm like

 **iwillsooyou** bondage and the sadomasochism stuff

 **chendae** yea how do you go wrong with that

 **mom** Regardless of its name, BDSM must be done with consent from both the dom and the sub

 **mom** A proper dom would respect their sub's safewords and boundaries

 **mom** The point of BDSM is to give pleasure to both parties in an unorthodox way, i.e. through pain and power play, etc., while still ensuring their safety

 **galaxy fanfan** yea but in the movies grey did neither

 **galaxy fanfan** the girl was obv uncomf but he went ahead with his kinks

 **galaxy fanfan** so that was technically unconsensual and could warrant as rape

 **galaxy fanfan** like jun said, bdsm is about pleasuring the dom and the sub and establishing your boundaries and safewords are very important to ensure that the experience is a good one

 **lay's potato chips** holup

 **lay's potato chips** how do yall know so much about this

 **mom** I mean

 **mom** It's important to know these before actually doing them

 **lay's potato chips** nono i mean

 **lay's potato chips** how do you and yifan-ge specifically

 **lay's potato chips** know all this

 **galaxy fanfan** listen i may not be the best boyfriend out there but that doesn't mean i wouldn't give jun the pleasure he deserves when he wants it

 **t a o** oh my god

 **t a o** oH mY gOd

 **lay's potato chips** you mean to say that our loving seemingly vanilla parents are the ones who engage in all this kinky shit????

 **luge** omo

 **luge** who would have thOugHT

 **chendae** i don't think i can ever look at them the same way ever again

 **loey** so like

 **loey** yall have a playroom in your house as well??

 **galaxy fanfan** no??

 **galaxy fanfan** our place is a three-room flat

 **mom** Anyway we don't need another room

 **mom** We can fit everything into the closet

 **bacon** hyung your closet is like

 **bacon** huge asf though

 **galaxy fanfan** and your point is

 **loey**.

 **iwillsooyou** we learn something new everyday

 **lay's potato chips** i don't think i'll ever go back to your place again

 **galaxy fanfan** okay but LISTEN

 **galaxy fanfan** the relationship was so toxic and the way the series portrayed 50sog was completely wrong

 **galaxy fanfan** it wasn't even a bdsm relationship. it was straight up abuse

 **t a o** ^^^^^^^

 **loey** idk she didn't protest much tho?

 **bacon** yea she just kinda went along with it

 **mom** Lack of dissent is not equivalent to consent

 **mom** That was literally Ana's first time ever being in a dom/sub relationship

 **luge** yea so she put her trust in grey to lead it, not having experience herself

 **luge** and she wouldn't have known that it was toxic and abusive

 **t a o** listen

 **t a o** the man was raped by a woman when he was a boy

 **t a o** and this bitch had such a recurring pattern of unhappy subs that in the first book he literally told ana "she'd need that extra room" to be away from him

 **t a o** he literally does not get the concept of love

 **lay's potato chips** yea also

 **lay's potato chips** "i don't make love i fuck hard"

 **chendae**???

 **chendae** idk about yall but sounds toxic to me

 **iwillsooyou** again

 **iwillsooyou** never read the books

 **iwillsooyou** but he sounds like a dick to me

 **galaxy fanfan** okay but you know what pisses me off most

 **galaxy fanfan** lack of aftercare

 **loey** SAME

 **loey** SAME I WAS SO PISSED AS WELL

 **loey** like wtf man he just wrecked her up and expects her to take care of the mess afterwards???

 **galaxy fanfan** she literally cleans up after herself and spends the night alone

 **galaxy fanfan** subs need aftercare and reaffirmation from their doms

 **loey** i guess you'd know huh

 **loey** but then again you and junmyeon-hyung have done it before

 **galaxy fanfan** again

 **galaxy fanfan** i wasn't the best

 **galaxy fanfan** but making sure jun is 1. alright with it and 2. enjoying it just as much as i am is a basic requirement

 **mom** ^^

 **mom** Honestly, asking for consent even in the middle of roleplay needs to be normalised

 **mom** People think checking if the dom/sub is okay "kills the mood"

 **mom** But it really doesn't

 **mom** In fact, it's indicative of a healthy relationship and that the dom is respecting the sub's boundaries, and vice versa

 **luge** say it louder for the people at the back

 **luge** tbh the same goes for the doms as well

 **lay's potato chips** yea the subs are on the receiving end so their consent is necessary

 **lay's potato chips** but sometimes you have those overly eager subs who kinda pressure their doms into being obligated to inflict more than they're comfortable with

 **chendae**!!!!

 **bacon** tbh i felt so bad for the girl

 **bacon y** ou could tell she wanted comfort from the guy

 **bacon** and each time he left her alone just because he doesn't sleep with his subs

 **t a o** reinforcing his incapability of, at the very least, caring for his subs beyond simply showering them with money and all those fancy laptops and clothes and stuff

 **lay's potato chips** he's nothing but an abusive sugar daddy

 **bacon** ^^^^

 **luge** ugh

 **luge** how a shitty twilight fanfic became romanticised to this extent will never fail to amaze me

 **chendae** lmao 50sog was twilight fanfiction???

 **iwillsooyou** as if twilight wasn't cringey enough

 **iwillsooyou** but remind me never to watch 50sog

 **iwillsooyou** abusive one-sided bdsm relationships? sign me the fuck out

 **chendae** ^^

 **luge** like yeah he was abused as a child and now he has so much money but

 **luge** use your money to get help!! not women to abuse!!!

 **t a o** well! this was an insightful debate

 **luge** as insightful as discussing 50sog can get

 **t a o** but i need to start getting ready

 **mom** It's 4

 **mom** You only take half an hour to get to Gangnam

 **mom** Why do you need 2 hours to get ready

 **t a o** i have a reputation to uphold you know

 **luge** you literally texted me the other day saying you're

 **luge** and i quote

 **luge** _forwarded_ dressed to impress yet stressed and depressed

 **galaxy fanfan** what

 **t a o** exactly!!

 **t a o** words can't hurt me these eyebags are gucci

**tao**

**t a o** B)

 **lay's potato chips** k

 **chendae** he gets it from his father

 **galaxy fanfan** nah i'm burberry made

 **loey** is the second movie any better

 **mom** The entire series sucks don't bother

 **t a o** ^^

 **t a o** anyway i need to get ready

 **t a o** gotta get dressed to impress

 **luge** aight

 **luge** have fun with sehun

 **mom** All the best!

 **galaxy fanfan** don't embarrass yourself even more than you already do

 **bacon** there are two types of parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry
> 
> i actually had to look up the smutty bits in the 50sog series to verify whether the portrayal of the bedroom scenes was really as inaccurate as bdsm experts criticised and with all due respect the language...is reminiscent of...poorly-written teenage fanfiction
> 
> honestly...the relationship portrayed is really toxic and it doesn't even qualify as bdsm anymore because christian grey is simply projecting his fetishes onto ana without her consent to the point that it's straight-up abuse, yet the series has been falsely overly-romanticised and that's that
> 
> jiayou: chinese for "good luck"  
> hwaiting: korean for "good luck"


	6. dressed to impress yet stressed and depressed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the members expose each other's photoshoots for the university magazines
> 
> (99% of the pics are from their mama photoshoot, which really did lowkey look like blackmail-worthy university magazine modelling photos)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cannot begin to describe the second-hand embarrassment i felt having to look through "huang zitao mirror selfie" and "tao mirror selfie" on google, as well as the numerous selfies on his instagram 
> 
> then i switched tactics and searched "huang zitao bed" and was slapped in the face with sex scenes from his movies
> 
> luckily searching "exo (member) mama photoshoot" yielded just what i wanted with nothing more or nothing less
> 
> credits to all the original pic owners

**t a o** help

 **t a o** idk what to wear

 **lay's potato chips** dude i thought you said you were gonna get ready

 **iwillsooyou** wrong

 **iwillsooyou**

**iwillsooyou** he's been having a crisis in bed for half an hour

 **t a o** ASDFLKJSD HYUNG

 **bacon** does he still ask you to shower with him lmao

 **iwillsooyou** not really tbh

 **iwillsooyou** only if it's past midnight

 **t a o** okay but seriously

 **t a o** idk what to wearrrr

 **chendae** just wear what you normally wear???

 **t a o** ya but 

**t a o** i need to dress to impress

 **t a o** to hide the fact that i'm stressed and depressed

 **t a o** i can't just go out in a t-shirt and sweatpants

 **t a o** i am dressed to impress yet stressed and depressed

 **luge**...as you've kindly reiterated

 **mom** Try a T-shirt and jeans

 **t a o** THAT ISN'T MUCH BETTER

 **t a o** listen i am going out with a cute boy

 **t a o** and i need to look cute as well

 **t a o** not cuter than him but

 **t a o** just as cute

 **luge** aaahh

 **luge** i get what you mean

 **lay's potato chips** didn't you model a few times for the uni magazine in freshman year

 **lay's potato chips** just wear whatever you wore in those

 **bacon** omg yea he did

 **bacon**

**bacon**

**t a o** please

 **t a o** no

 **loey** why is his name in the bottom left

 **chendae** ya and why is it just tao instead of huang zitao, 1st-year composition major or sth

 **chendae** makes him look like some cpop boy lmao

 **loey** ikr it's so extra

 **iwillsooyou** just like you

 **bacon** aldksfjalk

 **loey** :(

 **t a o** why must you do this to me

 **mom** If it makes you feel any better

 **mom** Just remember that you and Fan posed for that one photo together

 **galaxy fanfan** jun

 **mom** And that you two really did look like Cpop boys in that one

 **galaxy fanfan** jun please

 **mom**

**t a o** that doesn't really help but knowing that i wasn't the only one embarrassing myself does bring some comfort

 **galaxy fanfan** oh my god

 **bacon** ALKDSJFLKAJSF

 **chendae** HAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK

 **luge** YALL REALLY LOOK LIKE THOSE CPOP BOYS POSING FOR THEIR DEBUT ALBUM LMFAOOOO

**mom**

**mom** And this too

 **lay's potato chips** lksdjfalkdjsf he has the name thing at the bottom left too

 **luge** they spelled it wrong though

 **luge** should be krease not kris

 **galaxy fanfan** fuck you

 **galaxy fanfan** are you forgetting that YOU modelled for the uni magazine too

 **galaxy fanfan**

**chendae** wait what the fuck

 **chendae** you modelled with MINNIE????

 **luge** ya did i not tell you before

 **chendae** i would have REMEMBERED IF YOU DID

 **lay's potato chips** somebody's jealous

 **lay's potato chips** hoho

 **chendae** don't play dumb zhang yixing you modelled with ME too

**chendae**

**chendae**

**lay's potato chips**

**iwillsooyou** has everybody in this group modelled for the uni magazine at some point

 **bacon** not me

 **loey**

**loey** ~~why the fuck you lyin~~

 **bacon** YEOL WHAT THE FUCK

 **t a o** he looks so small and sad

 **bacon** listen you punk bitch

 **bacon** i know hapkido

 **t a o** and i know wushu

 **t a o** your point?

 **bacon**.

 **bacon** fuck you

 **bacon**

**loey** shit i forgot i used to have that perm

 **loey** lmao good times

 **iwillsooyou** is nobody going to comment on the fact that jongdae-hyung's boxers are exposed in his picture

 **chendae** wait what

 **galaxy fanfan** relax they probably thought it was an aesthetic since you made it into the magazine

 **mom** I guess all of us have fallen victim to the school magazine at some point

 **mom** I just found Kyungsoo in one of the magazines and I am laughing

 **mom**

**iwillsooyou** dear god i forgot that existed

 **loey** that jawline though

 **loey** sharp enough to cut the sexual tension between you and jongin lmao

 **iwillsooyou** if you don't shut the fuck up

 **t a o** dude i keep forgetting you used to have hair

 **t a o** and now you're like

 **t a o**

**loey** is that sehun in the background

 **t a o** holy shit

 **t a o** hoLY SHIT I NEVER REALISED ASDFASDF

 **loey** what even was he doing there

 **iwillsooyou** i think tao took that pic before/after our composition class together

 **iwillsooyou** so maybe sehun had a class after/before there

 **chendae** i keep forgetting kyungsoo minors in composition

 **chendae** but then again he's like

 **chendae** smart asf

 **loey** excuse me

 **loey** i take exactly the same combination as soo

 **loey** and i don't see you calling me smart like i deserve

 **iwillsooyou** that's because you aren't

 **bacon** ADSKLFJALKSDFJSKJD

 **loey** soO

 **mom** Anyway

 **mom** @ **t a o** don't you need to start getting ready soon?

 **mom** It's nearly 5

 **t a o** fuck

 **t a o** yea i should

 **t a o** but seriously

 **t a o** what do i wear

 **bacon** we told you

 **bacon** either wear what you always wear

 **bacon** or the clothes from your photoshoot thing

 **t a o** aldsfjalksdfjs

 **t a o** wait lemme find some outfits so yall can help me decide on an aesthetic

 **t a o**

**t a o**

**t a o**

**luge** wtf

 **t a o**

**luge** are these just different outfits from the past

 **t a o**

**t a o**

**loey** soo how many of these did you take lol

 **iwillsooyou** only three of them, actually

 **t a o** the others were from my home in china though

 **t a o** but anyway which outfit aesthetic should i go for

 **lay's potato chips** they're literally all the same

 **lay's potato chips** you're just an e-boy decked in black

 **loey** omg,,,

 **t a o** JUST HELP ME PICK

 **mom** I'd say either the fifth or sixth

 **galaxy fanfan** i say the sixth

 **galaxy fanfan** but don't wear those ugly ass sneakers if you're wearing black

 **galaxy fanfan** they clash

 **t a o** thanks a lot dad

 **bacon** depending on whether you want to be sexy and charismatic or mysterious and edgy

 **bacon** 1 or 6

 **iwillsooyou** i'll hit 180 before i ever hear tao, sexy and charismatic used in the same sentence

 **luge** or mysterious and edgy for the matter

 **t a o** just when i was going to ask you if you wanted me to ask sehun about jongin

 **iwillsooyou** what a coincidence

 **iwillsooyou** i never wanted you to ask

 **iwillsooyou** so that works out nicely for the both of us

 **lay's potato chips** oof burn

 **chendae** can you just go shower

 **chendae** so that you don't come crying about not having time to do your makeup later

 **t a o** well fine!

 **t a o** i know when i'm not wanted!

 **iwillsooyou** bold of you to assume we ever wanted you

 **t a o** i

 **galaxy fanfan** that's my boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you can tell this chapter was an excuse to insert more photos ever since my boomer ass learned how to insert photos on ao3 ahaha
> 
> to clarify some things in case yall are confused:  
> 1\. kyungsoo and zitao are roommates; they're renting a small apartment together pretty close to the university, and use their life savings + salaries from their part-time jobs to pay the rent  
> 2\. their age differences are kept the same, so if sekai are freshmen, sulay are in their final year (following a 4-year uni course)  
> 3\. continuing on from this, i know that i stated in chapter 1 that yifan and minseok are both in applied music together, but i wrote this with the idea that yifan and minseok, along with lu han, are doing post-graduate degrees in applied music, since they would be in their 5th year of university  
> 4\. all the boys go to seoul university in this au!  
> 5\. the courses the boys are enrolled in, as taken from the website, are:  
> minseok: composition  
> lu han: vocal music  
> yifan: composition  
> junmyeon: business admin  
> yixing: composition  
> baekhyun: business admin  
> jongdae: business admin  
> chanyeol: business admin with a minor in composition  
> kyungsoo: business admin with a minor in composition  
> zitao: composition  
> jongin: child development and family studies  
> sehun: statistics
> 
> i understand that a handful of the members already have actual degrees, so i've retained some of theirs, but for others i've tweaked their majors either because seoul university doesn't have the courses they were enrolled in, or to include their music backgrounds in it (and also indulge my own university headcanons i have for them)
> 
> if, perchance, there are actually any students from seoul university reading this, i apologise for the inaccuracies that may have been brought up so far, and for any to come


	7. two grapes and a raisin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zitao finally embarks on his date with sehun!! but does all go well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a sudden influx of twitter and ig users i follow all missing ot12 days and my heart cannot take it :(

**galaxy fanfan** ayo how's it going

 **galaxy fanfan** you left the house yet?

 **t a o** yea

 **t a o** just got onto the train

 **bacon** it's like sending our baby off to the army

 **bacon** he's growing up

 **bacon** finally ready to be laid

 **lay's potato chips** you called?

 **luge** why is baek always the one babying tao

 **luge** it's like _he's_ tao's mother rather than junmyeon

 **mom** Listen just because I don't baby Tao all the time that doesn't mean he isn't my baby too okay

 **galaxy fanfan** i mean

 **galaxy fanfan** jun's the mom of the group

 **mom** And Fan's the dad

 **galaxy fanfan** yup

 **chendae** awh

 **chendae** i love our parents

 **loey** yeet

 **t a o** help a woman is falling asleep on my shoulder

 **t a o** what am i supposed to do

 **iwillsooyou** um

 **iwillsooyou** lean forward so she falls back?

 **loey** yeet her off

 **luge** KFKFKDKFK YEET HER OFF

 **lay's potato chips** is she like permanently on your shoulder or

 **t a o** she's doing the touch and go thing where every time she's about to rest her head completely on my shoulder she jerks back up

 **t a o** but she's like...asleep while doing so??

 **bacon** bet if it were sehun you'd let him sleep on your shoulder

 **t a o** idk tbh i'd be too awk to do anything too

 **mom** Anyway how many stops do you have left?

 **t a o** reaching seonjeongneung soon

 **t a o** so about two stops

 **t a o** i'm gonna be early asf what do i do

 **iwillsooyou** message him and ask him where he is

 **t a o** aight

* * *

sup i'm reaching soon

where are you

_lmao im already reaching apgujeong rodeo_

_whoops_

shit i'm like

two stops away

_its chill ill wait_

aight

* * *

**t a o** FCK HE'S REACHING APGUJEONG RODEO

 **t a o** NOW HE'S GONNA HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME SHIT

 **galaxy fanfan** oh wow

 **iwillsooyou** see you're not the only one worried about this

 **iwillsooyou** you guys are just both early

 **t a o** can the train go...faster...

 **t a o** wish i could control time and make it go faster or something

 **t a o** i feel really bad

 **t a o** that i'm gonna be late

 **luge** it's like 6.15

 **luge** you're both 15ish minutes early

 **t a o** h

 **t a o** i'm leaving gangnamgucheong now

 **t a o** what if i do something stupid later

 **lay's potato chips** hey you'll be alright 

**lay's potato chips** once you move past the initial awkwardness you two will click really well!!

 **lay's potato chips** and if he hurts you in any way i'll smack him the fuck up when i see him at dance :))

 **loey** better back the fuck up before he gets smacked the fuck up

 **luge** just go with the flow

 **luge** find a common interest or sth and talk about it

 **mom** Just try and relax

 **galaxy fanfan** yea don't make too big of an effort to impress him or anyth

 **chendae** mm cos it could come off as forced or fake

 **loey** all the best!! you got this b r e a d

 **bacon** hoe the man of your dreams my child

 **bacon** and let us know how it goes when you're done

 **loey** "hoe the man of your dreams"

 **loey** talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it

 **luge** that lady gaga ref tho

 **iwillsooyou** you got this tao

 **t a o** i'm at apgujeong rodeo

 **t a o** i will

 **t a o** try not to fuck up

 **t a o** too badly

* * *

It wasn't hard to spot Sehun the moment Zitao tapped out of the train gantry; the former's tall, lanky figure and blonde hair stood out among the commuters hurrying to enter or exit the gantry. Zitao noted, with a tinge of amusement, that Sehun too had donned a sleeveless hooded shirt, albeit red in colour. He closed his eyes and counted to three twice, once in Mandarin and again in Korean, then walked up to Sehun as calmly as possible.

"'Sup," Sehun greeted him, eyes fixed on his phone in his hands. He was playing some rhythm game, which Zitao recognised as Superstar SMTOWN as he drew closer. "Gimme a sec, I'm nearly done - " He squinted slightly, tongue protruding out of the corner of his mouth as he jabbed at his phone furiously for a few more seconds, before he locked it and shoved it into his pocket. Zitao took that as his cue to start heading out, and the two went up the stairs and left the station,

"So..." he trailed off, staring awkwardly at Sehun, "where do you wanna eat?"

"Actually," Sehun replied, "I kinda had a late lunch, so I was wondering if you'd be okay getting boba and then having street food for dinner?" He scratched the back of his neck. "Only if you're okay with it though."

"Oh same," Zitao replied, attempting to crack a smile that wasn't too forced. "I do that a lot. We can go to Gong Cha, they have really good boba."

"Cool." The rest of the walk was mostly silent, save for a few awkward attempts to break the ice between the two. When they entered Gong Cha, they managed to snag one of the last tables in the bustling cafe, and placed their bags in the chairs so that no one else would take their seats.

"Which drinks have you tried here?"

"I don't come here very often, actually, so I've only gotten the boba milk tea, caramel milk tea and peach fruit tea."

"I actually come here a lot, and I love the chocolate milk."

"Ha. You're rich enough to come to Gangnam often?"

"I'm a freshman. Obviously, I come here to window shop."

"...ah." Had Sehun not raised his eyebrows at him jokingly, Zitao would have been overwhelmed with yet another wave of sheepishness. But at least they were comfortable enough to drop snarky comments. Zitao took it as a good sign that they were bonding.

The girl in front of them moved to the side, indicating that she had already paid for her order. Zitao and Sehun slid up to the counter, where they were greeted by an elderly woman who looked well into her 80s. She was practically withering and it was a miracle she managed to stand on two feet while operating the cash register when she was way past retirement age. If Zitao and Sehun were fresh grapes, she was a shrivelled up raisin; he shook his head, chastising himself for his impudence.

"Uh, hi," Sehun started. "I'll get a jumbo chocolate milk with pearls, 30% sugar and full ice."

"I'll get - um - " Zitao trailed off, eyes darting between his two regulars on the menu behind the cashier, " - a jumbo caramel milk tea with pearls, um, 30% sugar and full ice."

"Paying together or separately?"

"Um, together." The two boys took out the exact change from their wallets and handed them over to the cashier together, who counted it with shaky fingers and then placed it in the cash register. After collecting their receipt and returning her "have a nice evening", they moved to the side to wait for their drinks and collect them. As they waited, they made small talk about themselves. Zitao found out that Sehun was majoring in statistics, had a Bichon Frise named Vivi whom he loved very much, and had been dancing ever since he was in elementary school. He, in turn, explained the entire weed stalker situation to Sehun, and the latter was highly amused.

"Dude," Sehun said suddenly, when they had returned to their table with their drinks, "I think the barista gave me double the amount of pearls."

"Wait, what?" The younger held up his drink for him to see; sure enough, Sehun _had_ received two servings of pearls. Zitao laughed.

"And it's a _jumbo_ ," he added, internally cooing at Sehun huffing and jutting out his bottom lip. He took a sip of his own drink and immediately choked, caramel milk tea spurting out of his nostrils and mouth onto the table as his face shrivelled up in an expression of disgust at the overwhelmingly sweet drink.

"What the _fuck_ ," he sputtered, hacking away as Sehun rushed to extract tissue from his bag, shoulders shaking, "is this?"

"Caramel milk tea with pearls, 30% sugar and full ice?"

"The fuck it's 30%! It's all the diabetes in the world condensed into a jumbo cup!" Sehun cackled unsympathetically, and Zitao scowled as he rubbed at his nose and mouth. He was beginning to realise that, underneath that facade of awkwardness, Oh Sehun was an asshole.

"Our drinks fucked up big time," he finally managed to choke out, wiping away the tears that leaked out of his eyes in his laughter, "but really, the cashier probably lived through the fucking Korean War, so it shouldn't be a surprise that she misheard you, especially with your shitty Korean."

"I have literally been in Korea since middle school, fucktard, and don't get me started on that lisp of yours."

"Who're you calling fucktard, asswipe? My barista probably forgot she put in the first serving and added the second one, while yours probably heard 130% instead of 30% when you dragged out that 'uuuuuhhhhhh' before it!"

"But she should have clarified then, Gong Cha doesn't have a 130%!"

"Again - " Sehun held up a hand in a "talk to the hand"-esque gesture, " - she presumably lived through the Korean War. Might have forgotten to ask us. The barista should have thought to ask though."

"Maybe the barista handling it was a trainee," Zitao mused, "and maybe they were scared to ask for help, so they gave a 100% + 30% to get this - disaster of a drink."

They both stared down at their drinks, before breaking out into laughter again. As Sehun started chattering about another story, Zitao noted that he had a beautiful smile when he didn't have a shit-eating grin on his face. Maybe he was kind of falling in love with Sehun. And maybe - judging from the way Sehun kind of leaned in closer whenever he spoke, or never hesitated to touch his shoulder from time to time - maybe Sehun was kind of falling in love with him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coming up with a valid korean mispronunciation/misinterpretation to justify the boba cashier keying in the wrong order for tao is the only productive thing i have done this year
> 
> 17 days till suholo is released!


	8. operation kaisoo, commence!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taohun soft hours are now in order while sehun finally makes his debut and yixing springs into action to acquaint jongin and kyungsoo with each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sehun's lack of punctuation is killing me

**mom** So how did it go?

 **t a o** i love him

 **galaxy fanfan** that's fast

 **t a o** both our boba orders fucked up it was so funny

 **t a o** he got double the amount of pearls and i got a fucking 130% sugar level jumbo drink

 **t a o** god the diabetes

 **chendae** how do you even get 130%

 **t a o** a combination of bad hearing and being a noob

 **bacon** what

 **t a o** anyway

 **t a o** dinner was great after that 

**t a o** it was just street food cos we're broke bitches

 **t a o** also sehun is highkey an asshole but he's so sweet and cute as well

 **mom** Yeah he has that effect on most people

 **lay's potato chips** he baby uwu

 **t a o** uwu

 **t a o** anyway when we were about to leave he asked if we could take a pic

 **t a o** so i was like sure

 **t a o** then as i took the pic he leaned in closer and i literally gay panicked

 **chendae** omg

 **luge** send it

 **t a o**

**chendae** HIS HAND

 **bacon** ON YOUR ARM

 **loey** damn

 **loey** boy really got fast game

 **lay's potato chips** you guys look so soft omg

 **lay's potato chips** it's taohun soft hours uwu

 **bacon** taohun

 **bacon** uwu

 _loey_ changed the subject from "freshgays" to "taohun soft hours uwu"

 **loey** uwu

 **chendae** uwu

 **bacon** uwu

 **luge** uwu

 **lay's potato chips** uwu

 **galaxy fanfan** what's with the sudden influx of uwus

 **mom** TaoHun soft hours uwu

 **iwillsooyou** i'm confused

 **t a o** wish taohun was canon uwu

 **mom** It will be with time, my child

 **mom** uwu

* * *

 **t a o** guys

 **t a o** can i add sehun

 **t a o** he saw me texting yall and he wants to fuck around in the group lmao

 **chendae** none of us wanna fuck him

 **chendae** we just want him to fuck you

 **bacon** or get fucked by him

 **bacon** whoever the top is

 **t a o** you know what i mean

 **loey** hhhhhhh

 **loey** why not

 **loey** add some s p i c e

 **luge** add him

 **luge** he's got personal connections with jongin

 **luge** his insight will be most valuable in getting kyungsoo laid

 **iwillsooyou** wait what

 _t a o_ added _yehet_ to the group

 **yehet** sup

 **t a o** ay so you already know lu-ge, fan-ge, junmyeon-hyung, yixing-ge and kyungsoo

 **mom** Hello Sehun

 **yehet** ay sup

 **yehet** wait whos who

 **galaxy fanfan** @ **luge** is lu han, @ **mom** is jun, @ **bacon** is baekhyun, @ **chendae** is jongdae, @ **loey** is chanyeol and @ **iwillsooyou** is kyungsoo

 **galaxy fanfan** i'm yifan

 **yehet** nice

 **bacon** so this is the famous oh sehun

 **yehet** what

 **chendae** a pleasure to be acquainted at long last

 **yehet** taozi im confused

 **loey** especially after all we have heard from you

 **t a o** don't listen to them hunah

 **luge** "taozi"?

 **luge** "hunah"?

 **luge** interesting

 **luge** you two have only known each other for, what, a month?

 **luge** and yet you refer to each other so domestically

 **t a o** ge

 **yehet** um

 **bacon** oh don't worry!

 **bacon** hint hont wink wonk taozi's gay

 **bacon** don't hold back ;)

 **t a o** HYUNG

 **yehet** its chill im gay too lol

 **t a o** ah

 **lay's potato chips** sehunnie!! my child :)

 **yehet** ayyy sup

 **lay's potato chips** we have a HUGE favour to ask of you

 **lay's potato chips** and your cooperation is most essential

 **galaxy fanfan** holup

 **galaxy fanfan** "we"?

 **lay's potato chips** ya

 **lay's potato chips** i alr told lu-ge but i've been meaning to tell the rest of you guys as well

 **luge** roommate perks yeet

 **luge** it is with regards to the post-concert after-party on july 29

 **luge** specifically, jongin and kyungsoo

 **yehet** omo

 **yehet** what's the tea

 **iwillsooyou** none of you are to say another word

 **lay's potato chips** kyungsoo wants to bang jongin so we need you to get him to go to the after party so they can meet and bang

 **yehet** OMO

 **iwillsooyou** I SAID NONE OF YOU WERE TO SAY ANOTHER WORD

 **lay's potato chips** where in that message did the words "another word" appear

 **loey** OH

 **chendae** BIG BRAIN

 **lay's potato chips** thank you thank you

 **iwillsooyou** honestly fuck you

 **loey** akndkdmfkd

 **loey** wait so what exactly's going on

 **lay's potato chips** our dance concert this year is on july 29

 **lay's potato chips** and you, my dear kyungsoo, will have the honour of being formally introduced to my lovely child kim jongin

 **chendae** ohoho

 **chendae** operation kaisoo commence

 **iwillsooyou** what the fuck is a kaisoo

 **mom** It's a portmanteau of your names

 **loey** the fuck is a portmanteau

 **galaxy fanfan** a ship name

 **loey** oh

 **lay's potato chips** okay but anyway what i was thinking is

 **lay's potato chips** after the performance the dance club's gonna crash lee taemin's mansion for dinner and booze and partying shit

 **lay's potato chips** and we're all gonna bring our homies 

**t a o** how the fuck does lee taemin suddenly have a mansion

 **yehet** you know choi siwon

 **galaxy fanfan** class of 2013, rich as fuck, kinda looks like jun but old?

 **chendae** "looks like jun but old" jdjcjdkd

 **mom** I'm sorry what

 **yehet** ya him

 **yehet** basically he and taemin-hyung are close family friends

 **yehet** and yall know how he has like several hugeass houses

 **yehet** tldr taemin-hyung got a brand new mansion for his bday

 **yehet** so yea he offered it for the after party

 **luge** imagine being so rich you gift your friend a house for his birthday

 **lay's potato chips** lmao ikr

 **lay's potato chips** anyway as head of the dance club i extend my invitations to you, my wonderful wholesome friend group :)

 **lay's potato chips** especially you, @ **iwillsooyou** :))

 **iwillsooyou** will he even be there

 **luge** listen even if he didn't want to go kim jongin is lee taemin's favourite junior™ and there is no way he'd let him slink back to his small ass dorm to rot with his stuffed teddy bears and binge netflix

 **yehet** can confirm

 **yehet** also im jongins roommate so if he escapes back to the dorm ill drag his sorry ass back to taemins mansion

 **iwillsooyou** um

 **iwillsooyou** i will consider

 **t a o** no need to consider i'm fucking dragging you there

 **mom** You can get acquainted with Jongin 

**mom** :)

 **galaxy fanfan** smart thinking @ **lay's potato chips**

 **lay's potato chips** this would not have been possible without the braincell

 **lay's potato chips** with which i would not have been able to formulate this extensively intricate plan

 **iwillsooyou** how extensively intricate can it be when all you're doing is bringing me to a party to get laid

 **lay's potato chips** honey

 **lay's potato chips** it's literally in my name to lay people

 **chendae** you're single

 **lay's potato chips** i mean get other people laid with each other not lay people myself you dumb fuck

 **t a o** ok boomer

 **yehet** ok boomer

 **yehet** JINX

 **yehet** you owe me boba

 **t a o** ugh fine

 **chendae** hello please take this to your dms thank you

 **t a o** fuck you

 **bacon** wait @ **lay's potato chips** @ **yehet**

 **bacon** how big is the house though

 **yehet** idk but taemin-hyung said theres room for everyone to sleep over so

 **chendae**????

 **chendae** that big???

 **lay's potato chips** idk lol but yall are apparently welcome to crash for the night if yall want

 **lay's potato chips** so yall going for the after party yea?

 **chendae** ayyyyyy

 **luge** ayyyyyy

 **bacon** yeol and i'll be there!!!!

 **loey** ^^^^^

 **galaxy fanfan** jun and i'll go but idt we'll stay the night

 **mom** Yeah we don't want to trouble him more than necessary

 **yehet** ~~yall just wanna have sex in the privacy of your apartment~~

 **galaxy fanfan** oh sehun

 **bacon** anyway! we will make sure kyungsoo goes

 **t a o** i'll make sure he's ready for the sleepover

 **yehet** jonginll be there

 **yehet** also how drunk do we want them to be

 **iwillsooyou** ideally, not at all

 **bacon** killjoy

 **chendae** his tolerance is pretty good though

 **chendae** so

 **lay's potato chips** yes now we've settled on operation kaisoo

 **lay's potato chips** the performance is free seating, 20 000 won a ticket

 **lay's potato chips** so cough up tmr

 **luge** why is it so expensive this time

 **luge** it was 15 000 last year

 **yehet** because money

 **bacon** idk demand-pull inflation lmao

 **mom** Don't even talk about economics

 **mom** My first draft is due next week and I am THIS close to throwing my fucking laptop out of the window

 **chendae** mood

 **loey** but ay we gon get soo laid

 **iwillsooyou** why do i even bother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be a kaisoo prose chapter! if you thought taohun was chaotic wait for kaisoo hint hont wink wonk


	9. dreading the morning to come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jongin and kyungsoo are awkward babies whose interactions are essentially a competition to see who can out-shy the other...or are they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologise in advance for the excessive use of "um" and such words
> 
> WARNING: mildly pg13-rated action (really intense kissing but that's it)

"What the _fuck_ ," Jongdae said, jaw dropping.

The eight boys were standing outside a lavish three-storey mansion, situated at the end of the road a good distance away from the rest of the simpler houses.

"This is like the first time a mansion has ever graced my poor ass in person," Baekhyun rasped.

"And you said Choi Siwon has _several_ houses like this??" Chanyeol spluttered, gesturing at the mansion on front of them.

"Apparently," Yifan replied, equally taken aback at the sheer grandeur of Taemin's house.

"Sehun says they just finished cleaning up, and that the party's already started," Junmyeon remarked at that moment, looking up from checking his phone. 

"Bit hard to miss," Kyungsoo remarked. From inside the mansion, there was booming, albeit muffled music, and the windows flashed brightly, colours changing every second.

"I feel like a peasant trespassing the territory of the rich," Jongdae commented, shuffling on the spot.

"Oh come on," Zitao said exasperatedly, stalking forward and dragging the others behind him, "it's just another house, just...bigger."

"Shut the fuck up, your family lives in a fucking mansion," Luhan retorted.

The moment they opened the doors, the stench of alcohol hit them and their breaths nearly taken away by the deafening party music reverberating through the house. The group squeezed their way through the mass of people and made their way towards the tables lining the kitchen, where professional caterers managed three buffet lines and served the guests food.

"What the fuck!" Baekhyun yelled, his voice barely audible over the music. "They even have a DJ and a fucking bartender!"

"I bet Choi Siwon funded the caterers and bartenders!" Yifan bellowed back. 

"So where is he then??" Jongdae screamed, leaping to the side as someone behind him tripped and nearly spilled the contents of their glass on his leg. 

After the group moved to a quieter corner of the room, Yifan opened his mouth to reply, but just then all the guests started whooping and clapping. Confused, the group followed their gazes; the dance club had just entered the mansion, and they made out Sehun and Yixing among the members. Zitao started waving excitedly and jumping up and down, and Sehun's face broke out into a grin as he and Yixing made their way over to the group together with a third stranger, receiving numerous claps on the back on the way.

"You were amazing, Hun-ah!" Zitao gushed, slinging his arms around Sehun and swaying from side to side; the blush that dusted the latter's cheeks did not go unnoticed by the rest of the members.

"Thank you!" Yixing replied, though there was no malice in his voice at Zitao only cooing over Sehun.

Kyungsoo smiled as the rest of the group offered their compliments to their two friends, and turned to congratulate the newcomer.

He froze.

Kim Jongin, the freshman that had captured his heart that semester, stood before him in all his glory, decked in a red biker jacket over a sleeveless white graphic top and black skinny jeans. Kyungsoo nearly spluttered as Jongin met his gaze, eyes widening slightly and running over his body. Suddenly he felt small, stupid and ugly. He wished he'd let Baekhyun put on a fuller face of make-up.

Behind him, a denim-clad arm suddenly draped itself around his shoulders and pulled him forward, at the same time that Sehun clapped Jongin's back and pushed him towards Kyungsoo.

"Kyungsoo," Zitao drawled, "Jongin."

"Jongin," Sehun drawled back, "Kyungsoo."

It was as if time stopped at that moment and the world faded away as the two young men stood there stupidly, each gaping at the other. Kyungsoo cursed his brain for blanking out on him the one day he needed to impress someone.

"Hi," Jongin finally said shyly, the words rolling off his tongue in a soft, smooth baritone voice as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm K-kim Jongin."

"I know," Kyungsoo replied, and mentally slapped himself. Jongin probably didn't even know him, for fuck's sake! "I'm D-do Kyungsoo."

He would have given anything for the ground to open up and swallow him for that stutter, but Jongin chose that instant to offer his hand to Kyungsoo, and who was the latter to refuse a handshake with his crush? He took his hand, and the smile that graced Jongin's lips prompted a tentative smile from him as well.

"How cute," Baekhyun simpered next to them, snapping the pair out of their reverie. "I suppose this means we can leave you two alone to acquaint yourselves with each other."

"No!" both immediately blurted out, turning quickly towards the rest of the group, all of whom wore identical looks of amusement on their faces. Kyungsoo felt the tips of his ears heat up, and he saw Jongin fiddling with the hem of his jacket from the corner of his eye; taking pity, Yixing swooped in to save the two.

"This is Kim Jongin, my other child," he introduced, "and these are my best friends - " waving at the other eight " - some of whom you might already know."

Luhan, Yifan and Junmyeon threw up peace signs, grinning, and Jongin returned them hesitantly. He looked at Sehun and Zitao next to him, who flashed matching smirks at him.

" - so these are Baekhyun, Jongdae and Chanyeol," Yixing was saying, each member waving or nodding when called, "and you'll find our group is pretty chaotic and gay, but it's all good and we all love each other and everything. Yeet."

"Yehet," Sehun added unhelpfully. Kyungsoo wanted to slam his head against the nearest wall in shame. 

"Um," Jongin replied lamely, "okay?" His left eyebrow quirked upwards slightly. Just as Kyungsoo was about ready to die from the awkward introduction, the music suddenly died down and a piercing screech rang through the entire house, followed by a few loud taps and a throat being cleared.

"Inhabitants of the house," a voice boomed, amplified by a megaphone, "because gender isn't binary and this household does not tolerate non-inclusivity - "

"We get it, just hurry up so we can continue partying!" someone in the crowd screamed.

"Fuck you!" Taemin bellowed from the top of the chair he was standing on. "Thank you all for gracing this house with your presence, and for supporting the dance club! Our captain would like to deliver a short thank you speech on behalf of the club!"

"Do I?" Yixing asked, stunned, but the rest of the guests started whooping and shoving him towards the front.

"I guess he does now," Jongin remarked, and Kyungsoo snorted, catching his eye.

"Uuuuhhhhh - uuuhhhh - uuuuhhhh - uhhhhhh - " Yixing's voice cracked as he tested the megaphone, and several people laughed. "Thank you for supporting the dance club the past few months, and we hope you enjoyed the concert tonight. We will do our best to work harder, so please look forward to our future performances!"

The crowd burst into a cacophony of applause, catcalls and wolf whistles. Yixing beamed, his dimples even deeper than usual, and handed the megaphone back to Taemin.

"Also, our senior and alumni Choi Siwon of the graduating batch of 2013 has kindly sponsored us with the food and drinks tonight, so let's thank him!" Once again the guests clapped loudly, and a man in a hawaiian shirt and bermudas standing next to Taemin waved at the crowd, smiling brilliantly.

"Oh my god, he really does look like me but older," Junmyeon said.

"Yeaaaaaa, I'm done," Taemin finished. "Happy partying, fellow humans." With that, he hopped down from the chair and the music resumed.

Chanyeol whooped loudly and grabbed Baekhyun's hand, pulling him towards the buffet tables. Zitao and Sehun sprinted off as well, followed by Luhan, Yixing, and Jongdae behind, who were animatedly chatting about Yixing's solo.

"Are we splitting up then?" Junmyeon asked. He, Yifan, Jongin and Kyungsoo were still standing there.

"I think they'll come back," Yifan replied, watching the other queue for the buffet. "You boys go ahead first, we'll save these spots for you."

"You sure?" Jongin asked.

"Yeah, don't worry about us," Junmyeon smiled.

"Thanks, hyung," Kyungsoo said gratefully, and he and Jongin left to get their food as well.

"So!" Jongin started, shouting so Kyungsoo could hear him. "You're a business major, right?"

"Yeah!" Kyungsoo shouted back. "I also minor in composition!"

"That's so cool!" Jongin yelled. "I major in child development and family studies!"

"You like children?"

"I love them! I help babysit my niece and nephew and they inspired me to take child development!"

Kyungsoo's heart swelled. It was hard to believe the smiley family-loving boy in front of him was the same intense, alluring dancer he just watched an hour ago, and he found himself growing even softer for Jongin.

From there on, the two of them started exchanging stories about themselves. Despite some initial hesitance, they quickly opened up and got to know each other. Kyungsoo learned that Jongin had been dancing since he was eight years old, loved bears (calling them his spirit animals), and once cried after he put nail polish on his lips thinking it was lip balm. Jongin discovered that Kyungsoo was an amazing cook, loved singing, and rarely exercised because he hated sweating.

More than four hours later, the party was slowly dying down. Following a couple of raves, several rounds of truth or dare, and lots of socialising, the group had split up and most of the guests were either gone or knocked out upstairs. Chanyeol and Baekhyun had retired to a room upstairs. Luhan was now trying to get Jongdae to talk to Minseok, chasing the former around and attempting to drag him back to the latter. Zitao and Sehun were nowhere to be found, presumably making out in one of the rooms after a rather intense round of dancing which involved Sehun grinding against Zitao. Yixing had taken over the DJ booth. Yifan and Junmyeon were dancing to the lo-fi hip hop music that was now playing, the smaller man resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder as the two swayed on the spot.

Jongin and Kyungsoo sat on the sofa, the younger's head resting on the elder's shoulder. Both boys had somehow been coaxed into drinking despite their protests and Kyungsoo, despite his decent tolerance, was feeling slightly buzzed. Jongin, on the other hand, was pretty tipsy, and had spent the last half an hour rambling about anything, from his love for his three dogs, to how Sehun's constant pining over Zitao drove him crazy and he wished they'd just "get to-fucking-gether already".

Kyungsoo fumbled for his phone in his pocket and turned it on. It was 12.30am; the room was nearly empty save for a few other guests, Minseok, Luhan and Jongdae near the buffet tables (Kyungsoo wondered how Jongdae was holding up), Yixing at the DJ booth, and Yifan and Junmyeon, their murmurs of, presumably, sweet nothings to each other occasionally punctuated by soft kisses (god, Kyungsoo envied their wholesome, healthy relationship).

"Hyuuuuuuuuuung," Jongin started, lightly smacking his fist against Kyungsoo's knee, "why are you so hot tonight?"

Kyungsoo froze. Perhaps the alcohol was finally kicking in.

"It's so _unfair_ how hot you look tonight, hyung," he whined, wriggling on the spot. "Usually you're so _soft_ and _cute_ and _fluffy_ in your sweaters with your sweater paws and glasses and fluffy hair. But suddenly I see you in make-up and styled hair and a leather jacket and skinny jeans and it's like you're a completely different hotter person, but you're also still so _cute_ and I really really like you."

"Jongin, you're drunk," Kyungsoo said softly.

"I know we only properly met tonight, but I've seen you around campus a lot and you're always so kind to everyone else, helping whoever needs help, and you're such a good friend to others, and I've always wanted to get to know you but I'm too scared to approach you because what if you turn me away?"

"Let's get you upstairs," Kyungsoo said, standing up and helping Jongin to his feet.

"But I know you don't like me back," Jongin continued, as if he hadn't heard Kyungsoo at all, "and I really want to be friends with you since I know you won't like me back because I'm _dumb_ and _clumsy_ and dumbsy while you're _amazing_ and so _pretty_ and premazing but I still want to be your friend because I really really like you so much and want to date you though I can't."

Kyungsoo barely managed to stagger into a room and push the door closed behind them before Jongin collapsed onto the floor, still mumbling to himself. His heart was palpitating as he struggled to process what Jongin had just said. Jongin noticed him too? Jongin liked him back? He pushed those thoughts out of his mind as he gingerly pulled Jongin back up and guided him towards the queen-sized bed. Jongin wasn't heavy, persay, but he was taller than Kyungsoo and the shorter boy nearly fell over after Jongin finally slipped off him onto the bed. He bent over for a moment to catch his breath, then left the room to find some water downstairs.

When he returned, he was surprised to see Jongin sitting up in bed, looking soberer than he had minutes ago. His dark hair was messy and his eyes half-closed, but he looked up as Kyungsoo sat down on the bed next to him and offered the glass of water to him.

"Drink this," he said, and Jongin obeyed, slouching over and drinking as Kyungsoo slowly tipped the glass back. When he finished the water, he set the glass back down on the bedside table and turned to Jongin.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Kyungsoo tentatively pressed his hand against Jongin's forehead. His face was relatively unblemished and smooth to the touch.

"I meant everything that I said, you know."

Jongin's voice was so low that Kyungsoo barely heard what he said. He turned his face to the side and kissed Kyungsoo's fingers. Kyungsoo's eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by the sudden display of affection, and before he knew what was happening, Jongin surged forward and kissed him.

Stunned, Kyungsoo's lips parted in a muffled gasp of surprise, and Jongin immediately pushed his tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss as he pulled Kyungsoo towards him. Kyungsoo moaned, eyes fluttering shut as he kissed back with fervour and allowed Jongin to explore the cavern of his mouth.

When they pulled apart after what seemed like an eternity, both of them were panting, their tongues connected by a string of saliva. Jongin leaned forward to kiss Kyungsoo again, this time sucking on his bottom lip, and Kyungsoo couldn't stop the second breathy moan that escaped his lips. Jongin pulled back, eyes dark and clouded with something that vaguely resembled lust.

Kyungsoo's cheeks were pink, and he was huffing lightly from the lack of air. Stunned at what Jongin had done, he opened his mouth to say something, but Jongin's eyes suddenly closed and he slumped over onto his shoulder.

Kyungsoo's brows furrowed. He didn't understand why Jongin had done what he did, but he was drunk and he needed to rest first; they could always talk about this tomorrow. He bent over to lay Jongin down on the bed, but Jongin's arms wrapped themselves around his body and he too was pulled down onto the bed.

"Jongin - "

"- stay with me," Jongin mumbled, his grip around Kyungsoo tightening, and who was Kyungsoo, in his drunken stupor, to refuse? He lay down on the bed as well, and slowly shifted to face Jongin. Jongin's half-lidded eyes held so much adoration in them, and Kyungsoo's heart swelled again at his tender gaze. He closed his eyes and buried his face in Jongin's neck, wishing with all his heart that this moment would last forever and dreading the morning to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the members' party outfits for reference haha
> 
> minseok:
> 
> lu han:
> 
> yifan:
> 
> junmyeon:
> 
> yixing:
> 
> baekhyun:
> 
> jongdae:
> 
> chanyeol:
> 
> kyungsoo:
> 
> zitao:
> 
> jongin:
> 
> sehun:
> 
> i spent three hours looking for outfits the members had worn which were suitable for a party AND looked reasonably appropriate for uni students
> 
> in my venture, some photos i have been scarred with include yifan's long purple ponytail and kyungsoo's puffy black sleeves


	10. the morning come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the day after the party, jongin and kyungsoo unceremoniously wake up and discuss the nature of their feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stream self portrait! the album's a masterpiece!! junmyeon's a masterpiece!!!

Jongin woke up with bleary eyes and a throbbing headache. He wondered what he had done for his head to hurt so much - he didn't often drink - and remembered the shots he'd been force to down the previous night. 

There was a soft groan beside him, and Jongin stilled, hardly daring to turn to look beside him; he had a faint idea who it was, but sincerely hoped it wasn't.

Kyungsoo was curled up next to him, dark hair brushing his face as his chest rose and fell rhythmically. Fragments of memories of what had happened the previous night flashed through Jongin's mind, and he grimaced.

Had they...done it? He was a complete asshole if they had. But all Jongin remembered was being carried to the room, the feeling of Kyungsoo's hand on his face, and their heated kiss -

Jongin's face heated up. He shook his head and cringed slightly. As much as he wanted to leave immediately, however, he knew that the two needed to discuss what had happened last night so that Jongin could apologise. It was the least he could do if he had, in any way, taken advantage of Kyungsoo last night.

Getting out of bed, he noted that his body wasn't really sore, so if they had done it, he assumed that he hadn't bottomed - Jongin shook his head again, pushing such inappropriate thoughts aside. Kyungsoo had placed his bag next to the bedside table, and Jongin opened it, rummaging through for the set of clothes he had brought to change into. 

When he went into the toilet, he closed the door and stripped off all his clothes. Opening the cupboard under the sink, he found a couple of towels stacked up; grabbing one, he hung it over the shower door, and moved to the sink to brush his teeth, already thinking of how he could apologise to and reconcile with Kyungsoo later.

Kyungsoo stirred awake, rubbing his eyes as he struggled to clear the shit out of the corners of his eyes. He turned to his side, only to find it empty, and his heart sank. So Jongin had already left after all, he thought glumly. He wasn't sure if he could call him up to meet and discuss what had happened the previous night, but decided he didn't want to confront him just yet.

"I'll probably just ask him tomorrow or something," Kyungsoo muttered, climbing out of the bed and yawning loudly, stretching on the spot. He shuffled towards his bag and pulled out the clothes he packed for the day, then proceeded to pull off his clothes and toss them on to the bed.

"Might as well wash up before I go," he said to himself, holding his clothes in one arm and his phone in the other. He walked towards the toilet door, turned the doorknob, and opened it.

Kyungsoo screamed.

* * *

Jongin screamed.

His cup cluttered onto the sink and the water splashed all over them, but Jongin paid no attention to it, channelling all his energy into a long-drawn, unholy shriek. 

Evidently, Kyungsoo had not expected him to be there either, judging from the expression of genuine horror that adorned his face, and the very loud, very painful screech he was emitting.

"WHY ARE WE BOTH NAKED AND SCREAMING???" he yelled, and Jongin immediately started crying, hunching over and covering his face with his hands in shame.

"Oh my god please don't cry!" Kyungsoo exclaimed desperately, moving forward to pacify Jongin, but the latter continued to wail in terror, leaving Kyungsoo helpless and close to tears himself.

Half an hour later found Jongin and Kyungsoo sitting on different sides of the bed awkwardly. Jongin had never wanted the earth to swallow him up so badly in his life, pursing his lips tightly together as he tried to push the memory of his pathetic snivels away. So much for trying to reconcile with Kyungsoo.

"I'm sorry," he repeated for the umpteenth time that morning.

"I'm sorry too," Kyungsoo automatically responded. Jongin half-expected them to relapse into another awkward silence.

"Can we...can we talk about last night?"

"Oh, uh...sure?" Kyungsoo finally looked up and met his gaze, and Jongin faltered slightly.

"Please hear me out," he started, "I can't exactly remember what happened last night, but I'm aware that we were both drunk and I - um - forced myself o-onto you - " Jongin took a deep breath, willing himself to continue, " - a-and may have quite possibly taken advantage of you. I'm really sorry about t-that and I - I completely understand if you don'teverwanttospeaktomeagain." He rushed through the last words and bowed, hands clenching his knees. The silence that followed was deafening, and he implored once again for the ground to swallow him up then and there.

"...we didn't go beyond kissing, you fell asleep immediately after," Kyungsoo finally mumbled, and Jongin took it as his cue to straighten up. "And that was c-completely consensual, so you didn't take ad - advantage of me." He averted his eyes, gazing at the walls nervously and twiddling his thumbs.

" - ah." Mentally, Jongin sighed in relief. "I was really worried I'd done something to you. I'd never forgive myself if I ever violated your modesty - or anyone's for that matter."

Kyungsoo observed him for a moment, and then inclined his head slightly.

"Thank you," he replied softly, "for your concern and consideration."

They relapsed into another brief, decidedly less awkward silence, before Jongin ventured to speak again.

"If you don't mind, could we - could we talk about the status of our - relationship?" he asked. "Not in a romantic or platonic sense or anything - just, the general status of our relationship."

"Um, okay," Kyungsoo agreed. "I've actually also been meaning to talk to you about yesterday."

Jongin gulped.

"I think - I think I said a lot about my feelings yesterday," he started slowly, looking down at his lap. "I was drunk and I rambled a lot about how I feel about you. Like - like about your looks, and your personality."

Kyungsoo nodded slowly.

"It was probably very overwhelming for you, and I'm really sorry for burdening you with my drunk talk yesterday, but - " Jongin paused for a moment, and looked up to meet Kyungsoo's eyes directly, " - I did mean everything I said, hyung. While my words were coarse last night, and c-could have been phrased better...I really like you, romantically."

There. He'd said it. It was as if a weight had been lifted off his chest, though there were still many other weights that burdened his heart.

"I know we haven't met before, but from observing your interactions with your friends, I could see that you're genuinely a caring friend," Jongin continued, "and I never had the courage to approach you, even though I wanted to befriend you so badly. And last night, I really enjoyed hanging out with you at the party, because you're just as kind and humorous as I thought you'd be."

Kyungsoo's cheeks coloured slightly, and he looked down at his hands on his lap.

"It's - probably really irrational that I've caught feelings for someone whom I've only properly acquainted myself with literally 12 hours ago, but I'd love to get to know you better...if you let me," Jongin said. "We don't - we don't have to date - if you don't ever want to date that's also okay. I'm okay being friends. But I would be really happy if you decided to give me a chance."

Kyungsoo said nothing for a few moments, processing everything Jongin had said. Jongin reciprocated - Jongin liked him as well. He could hardly believe what he had just heard. 

"I actually, really like you too," he blurted out, and Jongin's eyes brightened. "I noticed you around campus too, but I was too awkward to approach you too - mostly because I was scared to."

"You - you like me too? But why would you be scared though?"

Kyungsoo chuckled awkwardly. "You were this dance prodigy that everyone constantly talked about, so that was already intimidating in itself. But you were also so sweet with your friends and really polite to those strangers who'd come up to you. You were also - really handsome." He twiddled his thumbs together shyly. "I guess I didn't think someone so amazing and all-rounded would be interested in a plain, boring person like me."

"You're not boring!" Jongin replied immediately, plucking up confidence. "You're considerate and thoughtful and - really cute in your glasses and soft sweater paws - and - and you were also really hot yesterday - " He trailed off towards the end lamely, and Kyungsoo giggled.

"But do you - do you really like me as well, hyung?" he ventured timidly, and Kyungsoo's gaze softened, nodding shyly. 

"I'd love to try dating," he said. Honestly, he wasn't so sure about jumping straight into a relatiomship, but he hoped Jongin wouldn't mind taking it slow. "I mean - if you want to as well. But could we take it slow? Since we only just got to know each other properly?"

"Yes!" Jongin nodded his head vigorously. "We can take our time! I'm just - oh my god - I just can't believe you actually like me back hyung." He sniffed, willing himself not to cry again.

Kyungsoo's face broke into a heart-shaped smile and he swung his legs onto the bed to shuffle towards Jongin.

"We can start by getting lunch together, if you want," he said, and Jongin smiled brightly, taking Kyungsoo's hands in his own and nodding excitedly. Feeling the other squeeze his hands back, Jongin felt giddy, already blinded by Kyungsoo's smile, and he sincerely hoped that they would work out together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you ever think a couple had a bad meeting, just remember that kyungsoo, naked, walked in on jongin, also naked, both screamed, and jongin cried


	11. softgays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the couples share their get-together backstories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somehow this fic isn't as chaotic as i initially planned it to be :(
> 
> or perhaps chaos is not always explicitly catastrophic 
> 
> also @ those who have been following the fic from the very start, if you notice plot inconsistencies sorry for the confusion!! i've adjusted any references to these in the previously chapters so that it remains consistent with the story

**loey** guys

 **loey** did anybody see kyungsoo

 **lay's potato chips** ya where'd he go

 **lay's potato chips** haven't heard from him at all

 **chendae** wasn't he with jongin

 **luge** omg ya he was

 **luge** maybe they went upstairs to fuck

 **bacon** lmao imagine if they're dating now

 **bacon** or fuckbuddies

 **bacon** or some shit idk

 **loey** @ **iwillsooyou** soooooooooooooo

 **iwillsooyou** what

 **loey** you're alive!!!!

 **mom** Are you on the way back to your apartment?

 **iwillsooyou** nah i'm at lunch

 **luge** alone??

 **iwillsooyou** with jongin

 **loey** waIT WHAT

 **loey** SEND PIC

 **iwillsooyou** why

 **chendae** because we want to see jongin

 **chendae**!!!!!!!!!

 **iwillsooyou** ugh fine

 **iwillsooyou**

**galaxy fanfan** damn you really chose to take a pic from that angle huh

 **loey** HBSKFNDK IKR

 **lay's potato chips** he lowkey still looks wasted

 **chendae** boi probably is

 **luge** lmaoooo

 **luge** how come you guys are eating tgt tho

 **iwillsooyou** because we decided to?

 **bacon** did you fuck

 **iwillsooyou** no

 **iwillsooyou** wtf

 **luge** dude im pretty sure yall fucked

 **luge** didn't yall sleep in the same room or something

 **iwillsooyou** i mean we did

 **loey** holup FR???

 **iwillsooyou** but we literally just slept that's all

 **bacon** :o

 **bacon** what happened afterwards

 **iwillsooyou** um

 **mom** Wait

 **mom** Are you guys

 **mom** Dating?

 **iwillsooyou** yea

 **iwillsooyou** haha

 **bacon** I CALLED IT

 **bacon** I FUCKING CALLED IT

 **loey** so did you two fuck 

**loey** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **iwillsooyou** for fuck's sake

 **iwillsooyou** no

 **iwillsooyou** we're taking it slow we don't wanna rush into that too fast

 **iwillsooyou** but as of an hour ago we're dating

 **chendae** ah that's nice

 **chendae** smart babies

 **lay's potato chips** so no one will object if i add jongin to the group then?

 **iwillsooyou** sure

 **galaxy fanfan** go ahead

 **lay's potato chips** ay

 _lay's potato chips_ added _kaa_ to the group

 **lay's potato chips** hello jongin

 **kaa** hello!

 **kaa** why am i here

 **chendae** welcome to our chaotic gay group chat

 **kaa** :o

 **kaa** i feel like i can guess who is who by their usernames

 **galaxy fanfan** knock yourself out

 **kaa** nah i'm lazy lmao

 **kaa** i'll figure it out along the way

 **bacon** so jongin

 **bacon** i hear you and kyungsoo are dating

 **kaa** ahaha yea we are :'D

 **bacon** how did you two decide to start dating

 **iwillsooyou** we literally just talked about our feelings and decided to give it a shot

 **kaa** hyung!!! :D

 **kaa** and yea

 **kaa** i don't want to force him to do anything if he doesn't want to

 **iwillsooyou** yea

 **iwillsooyou** consent is really important for the both of us

 **kaa** mm we'll only go as far as the other will

 **mom** That's really mature of you two

 **kaa** we wanted to lay things out clearly to avoid miscomm

 **lay's potato chips** you called?

 **iwillsooyou** no

 **bacon** lmao this is the first time we summon you using "lay" in the non-fucking context

 **lay's potato chips** haha ikr

 **bacon** but anyway we're all really happy for you two @ **kaa** @ **iwillsooyou**

 **mom** Take good care of Kyungsoo, Jongin

 **galaxy fanfan** if i find out you hurt my son i'll smack you the fuck up

 **luge** there are two types of parents lol

 **iwillsooyou** please don't scare jongin,,,,,

 **kaa** i'm not scared

 **kaa** i know kyungsoo-hyung will take good care of me

 **kaa** so i'll take good care of you too :')

 **iwillsooyou** :')

 **bacon** sweet babies

 **bacon** they have a bright future ahead of them

 **kaa** tbh @ **mom**

 **kaa** how did you and yifan-hyung meet

 **galaxy fanfan** we were childhood friends

 **galaxy fanfan** my mom and i moved to korea when i was like five

 **galaxy fanfan** and jun was my first friend

 **luge** wait have you never told us this before

 **luge** cos i don't remember ever hearing this story

 **bacon** i don't remember either

 **mom** Yea we never told you guys haha

 **mom** But anyway we pretty much grew up together

 **mom** We even went to school together

 **galaxy fanfan** then one day i just kinda realised

 **galaxy fanfan** oh

 **galaxy fanfan** i'm gay for jun

 **galaxy fanfan** and i really fucking love him

 **galaxy fanfan** so i confessed to him and it turned out he really fucking loved me too

 **mom** Yeah haha

 **mom** That's it

 **loey** omgyou two are literally childhood sweethearts then

 **mom** :')

 **lay's potato chips** did you guys like

 **lay's potato chips** avoid each other and fight when confronted about it before you confessed

 **lay's potato chips** or like have any kind of misunderstanding before that

 **mom** Nah

 **mom** I mean I personally debated over it for a while but we talked about it pretty much right after we both figured out we liked each other

 **mom** Idk about Fan but to me it just seemed right?

 **mom** Probably loved him all my life tbh

 **galaxy fanfan** yea same

 **galaxy fanfan** but tbh even though i knew he'd probably say yes, since we'd known each other forever, i was still really nervous?

 **galaxy fanfan** luckily he loves me too lmao

 **mom** Of course I do :')

 **galaxy fanfan** <3

 **mom** <3

 **bacon** omo that's literally so sweet

 **bacon** how long have you guys been together then?

 **mom** About six years

 **mom** We got together in 2012

 **galaxy fanfan** april 8 2012

 **luge** holy fuck

 **luge** i never knew yall had been dating for so long

 **bacon** wait hold the fuck up

 **bacon** don't tell me yall are each other's first loves and first boyfriends too

 **bacon** because honestly that is super rare but also hella goals

 **galaxy fanfan** we are

 **mom** We are actually

 **mom** JINX

 **mom** Make me a coffee

 **galaxy fanfan** do it yourself

 **mom** I'm lazy

 **galaxy fanfan** fine

 **chendae** oh to be the junmyeon-hyung to an yifan-hyung

 **iwillsooyou** honestly yifan-hyung and junmyeon-hyung are relationship goals

 **iwillsooyou** first loves, first boyfriends, and they're still going really strong after six years

 **lay's potato chips** last night they were slow dancing to my lofi hip hop beats

 **lay's potato chips** and my heart was so soft watching them

 **lay's potato chips** name me a couple who's healthier and more stable than yifan-ge and junmyeon

 **chendae** ikr

 **chendae** they're literally married

 **bacon** ~~also they have really kinky sex~~

 **galaxy fanfan** sTop

 **bacon** ;)

 **mom** Why do I even bother

 **chendae** freshgays who? i only know softgays

 **chendae** krisho otp

 **luge** where does the ho come from

 **bacon** mom's old lol username was sh20

 **bacon** sh being suho

 **luge** ah

 **mom** @ **bacon** how did _you_ and Chanyeol meet?

 **loey** uni orientation lmao

 **loey** our backstory is pitiful in comparison

 **loey** we were our orientation group ship

 **chendae** alsdkjfalksdfj

 **chendae** holy shit i remember

 **chendae** didn't my group go against your group for the pocky game thing

 **loey** YA LMAO

 **kaa** you guys had that game during your orientation too???

 **chendae** unfortunately, yes

 **chendae** yall still did it this year????

 **kaa** yup :(

 **iwillsooyou** my year too

 **lay's potato chips** do they do that every year wtf

 **luge** yes

 **bacon** lmaooo

 **bacon** so anyway

 **bacon** yeol and i were paired up

 **bacon** then amber liu and kim seokjin fucking pushed our heads together

 **chendae** wait it was amber and jin who did it???

 **chendae** no wonder your group was so chaotic akfjckdjfk

 **loey** ikr

 **lay's potato chips** okay but how was the kiss

 **bacon** terrible

 **bacon** our foreheads knocked together so hard my forehead bled

 **kaa** oof

 **bacon** but yeol brought me to the infirmary

 **bacon** and then we talked and we were like

 **bacon** hey

 **bacon** wanna be friends

 **loey** then we were friends for like a semester-ish

 **loey** then we realised we kinda liked each other too and started dating in the second half of freshman year

 **loey** i mean we had more drama getting together than mom and dad cos we avoided each other and kinda fought

 **loey** but yea eventually we started dating

 **loey** yehet

 **kaa** speaking of yehet

 **kaa** how come zitao-hyung and sehun haven't come on at all

 **luge** i mean

 **luge** not all of us are online 24/7

 **lay's potato chips** true but

 **lay's potato chips** neither of them would miss tea for the world

 **chendae** now that you mention it

 **chendae** either one of them should have come on by now

 **iwillsooyou** i think tao said he was going to have lunch with sehun today

 **galaxy fanfan** lmao no they're probably still hungover

 **kaa** perhaps

 **kaa** hyung and i'll check if they're back when we get back home

 **loey** oho? :))

 **iwillsooyou** our respective homes dumbfuck

 **loey** you could just say yall were gonna fuck

 **loey** :))))))))

* * *

sehun

please

talk to me

i don't know what i did wrong but could you tell me what it was so i can make it right?

...

...

please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


	12. trouble in paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mentions of sex (a couple of one-liners in the beginning)
> 
> i've written a kaisoo oneshot and added it to the series! you can check it out [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23751118)!

Sehun stirred groggily, moving to untangle his legs from the sheets. His vision was hazy as he opened his eyes.

 _What happened?_ His head was pounding from the previous night, and he reached up to cup it in his hands. Beside him, there was a low groan, and he felt the bed sink slightly as something's weight shifted. Dazed, he turned to look beside him.

He stared at the mop of dark hair that adorned the white sheets next to him. Why was Zitao in his bed? Was this even his bed? Had he changed his sheets? As his vision cleared, Sehun sat up slowly and took in his surroundings.

 _Ah_ , he thought, _this is Taemin-hyung's place_.

As soon as that realisation hit, all the memories from the previous night came flooding back. The party, the lights, Zitao's touches, his lips on his skin, the feeling of his warmth - Sehun closed his eyes tightly, breathing deeply as he tried to calm himself.

He started to get off the bed, then shivered as the sheets draping his body slipped off, leaving him exposed to the cool air-conditioning in the room. His lower body ached from the night before, and Sehun vaguely wondered how rough their sex had been last night. Gingerly, he bent down and gathered his clothes from the floor, trying to move into the bathroom as quietly as possible so he could hopefully leave without Zitao waking up.

When he had freshened up somewhat and put his clothes on, Zitao still appeared to be asleep. Quietly, Sehun moved over to the bed to pick up his bag's contents, strewn all over the bedside table.

"Hunah?"

Sehun flinched at the deep voice, hardly daring to move with the hope that he would just go back to sleep. Unfortunately, his hopes were dashed when he felt Zitao shift behind him on the bed, presumable sitting up. Slowly, Sehun resumed searching for his phone.

"Where are you going?" Zitao asked, watching Sehun from the bed.

"Back home," he replied. For a moment the memory of Zitao's lips exploring every inch of his skin flashed through his mind, followed by the sound of plastic packaging ripping open, and the tight feeling of something warm entering and filling him to the brim - Sehun swallowed, blinking twice.

"You don't - you don't remember what happened last night, do you?"

Zitao said nothing for a few seconds, but that few moments of silence, together with the soft, confused "no" that followed, were enough for Sehun.

"Are you saying that last night meant nothing to you at all then?" he tried again. There was unconcealed agitation - and a hint of something forlorn - in his voice, and his eyes suddenly felt very dry, but Zitao didn't seem to notice any of it.

"I told you I don't remember what happened," he replied confusedly. "We were drunk and high, but whatever we did probably didn't mean anything."

"...yeah." Sehun looked down at his bag, then zipped it shut. "Nothing much happened." He got up to leave the room.

"Wait, weren't we supposed to have lunch today?"

"Some other day," he gritted out, struggling to keep his voice as neutral as possible. Why did he want to cry now, of all times? Was it the way that Zitao had bounded up from the bed after him and grabbed his hand, or the incessant flashes of his deep, husky voice murmuring throaty words of passion from last night? _Sehun_ certainly meant everything that he had said and done last night - but he knew that it was unrequited from the start.

"Sehun, what's wrong?" Zitao's voice was still raspy from sleep, and Sehun fought to push aside the memories of the filthy words he had growled as he pounded into Sehun relentlessly. He was swivelled around to face Zitao, whose eyes betrayed confusion and pleading, and for a moment, Sehun's heart ached to surrender himself into his arms again. But he fought to keep his trembling body still and check the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.

"Sehun - "

"I'm going first." Unable to keep up the act any longer, Sehun pulled his hand out of Zitao's grasp and left Taemin's house quickly, practically flying down the road and flagging a taxi. The moment he reached Seoul University, he dashed back towards his dorm, unlocked the door and tumbled into his bed a while later, finally allowing the sobs to wrack his body in the cold embrace of his room.

He had ruined everything. Letting his feelings consume him was the catalyst for everything that happened, but Zitao's disregard for everything that had happened the previous night - along with Sehun's own inability to tell him how he truly felt - had just closed off any possibility of sparing even their friendship.

* * *

The last thing Jongin and Kyungsoo expected to walk in on, upon unlocking the door to Jongin's dorm room, was Sehun curled up under the blankets on his bed and sobbing. He looked up blearily at them the moment they entered, eyes red and face streaked with tears, before letting out a croak - Jongin's cue to rush over and engulf his best friend in a tight hug.

Kyungsoo immediately grabbed a tissue box he spotted on a study table and joined them on the bed, shoving tissues into Sehun's shaking hands. Jongin was rubbing his back soothingly; neither said a word as Sehun's shoulders heaved up and down. Finally, he stilled, and Jongin slowly peeled the blankets off his sweaty body as Kyungsoo moved to turn on the air conditioner.

"Are you feeling better?" Jongin asked softly, and Sehun nodded mutely, rubbing his snot-streaked nose with tissue.

"You don't have to share what happened if you don't feel comfortable," Kyungsoo started, but Sehun shook his head.

"It's Z-zitao," he rasped, reaching for another tissue to blow his nose with.

"What did he do?"

"...we had sex last night."

" _What?_ " Kyungsoo shushed Jongin, motioning for Sehun to continue.

"We both - hic - got wasted at the party last night - you remember I g-grinded - hic - up on him - then he pulled me upstairs and we - hic - we f-fucked," Sehun managed to stutter out in between hiccups, "b-but when - hic - he woke up this morning he - hic - he didn't remember anything - hic - and said that - whatever happened l-last night - hic - didn't - hic - mean anything - a-and I fucking told him I loved - hic - him last - last night too - " He looked as if he was on the verge of bursting into tears again.

"Tao usually doesn't remember what happens the next day after he gets drunk," Kyungsoo started slowly, but Sehun was shaking his head before he had finished. "Maybe you two could talk about last night."

"I can't. He'd never talk to me again."

"But if - "

"Please," Sehun whispered, "I just want to be alone now."

Jongin and Kyungsoo glanced at each other sadly, unsure of whether to expose Zitao's reciprocated feelings without his permission, but decided to respect Sehun's wishes - and Zitao's privacy. Quietly, Jongin placed the tissue box in Sehun's lap and patted his shoulder.

"Let's go to your apartment instead," he told Kyungsoo quietly, and the two of them left the dorm, closing the door behind them and leaving Sehun alone.

* * *

_t a o_ created group "help"

 _t a o_ added _galaxy fanfan_ , _mom_ , _iwillsooyou_ and _kaa_ to the group

 **mom** What happened

 **t a o** i made sehun sad and he won't tell me why

 **galaxy fanfan** oh shit

 **galaxy fanfan** what exactly happened

 **t a o** i think we did something last night but i can't remember at all

 **t a o** because this morning he left first even though we were supposed to go for lunch today

 **mom** Okay what exactly did you say

 **t a o** how the fuck would i remember what i exactly said

 **mom** Zitao

 **t a o** uhhhh

 **t a o** oh shit i think i know

 **t a o** he asked if i remembered what happened last night

 **t a o** and i said no but that if we did anything it probably didn't mean anything

 **mom** Oh shit

 **mom** Idk what you two were up to last night after that stunt you pulled

 **mom** But whatever you did obviously meant a lot to Sehun and he was probably hurt that you didn't feel the same way

 **t a o** i don't even remember what the fuck we did

 **galaxy fanfan** tao

 **galaxy fanfan** you two were dry humping on the dance floor

 **galaxy fanfan** you literally dragged him upstairs after he grinded against you

 **galaxy fanfan** what do you think happened

 **t a o** what are you trying to say

 **t a o** wait

 **t a o** you don't mean

 **t a o** oh

 **t a o** oh fuck

 **t a o** we fucked didn't we

 **mom** Possibly

 **t a o** fuck

 **t a o** what do i do 

**t a o** he won't answer my calls or messages at all

 **t a o** @ **iwillsooyou** @ **kaa** where are yall help

 **t a o** can yall contact sehun

 **galaxy fanfan** they're out atm 

**galaxy fanfan** give sehun some time to himself

 **galaxy fanfan** then try contacting him tomorrow

 **t a o** but

 **t a o** i don't even know where he is and if he's okay

 **t a o** ugh alskdjfalksdjf

 **t a o** wait fuck

 **t a o** what if i accidentally confessed when i was drunk

 **t a o** then maybe that's why he's avoiding me

 **t a o** cos he's disgusted

 **mom** Sehun wouldn't do that

 **mom** You're his best friend

 **t a o** ya best friend not boyfriend

 **t a o** hklfjlksjd

 **t a o** god i fucked up so badly

 **mom** :(

 **galaxy fanfan** hope you two work it out

 **galaxy fanfan** try and be careful when you talk to him yea

 **t a o** i'll

 **t a o** try

 **t a o** holup i think kyungsoo's home i'll ask him for help

 **mom** Sure

* * *

Zitao sighed and exited the chat before leaving his room to go and greet Kyungsoo. What he did not expect, however, was for Jongin to be in tow, chatting with Kyungsoo as they took off their shoes at the door.

"Jongin?" Jongin looked up in response, and his brows furrowed ever so slightly.

"Zitao-hyung," he replied. "Sorry for intruding."

"No no, it's fine - " Zitao's gaze travelled to Kyungsoo, who was staring silently at him. "How come - how come you invited Jongin over all of a sudden?"

"Well, the plan was to go back to my dorm because we thought Sehun'd be with you, but he wasn't so we - "

"Sehun?" Zitao perked up. "Did he reach the dorm safely? Is he alright?"

Jongin raised an eyebrow at him, but said nothing, which only served to frustrate him even more. First Sehun was ignoring him, then when he wanted to seek him out to reconcile, his own friends wouldn't help him?

Kyungsoo eyed him wanly, with a hint of pity in his eyes.

"He's back at his dorm," he answered slowly, "but it'd be better if you two spend time apart until you're both ready."

"Ready? Ready for _what?_ I don't know exactly why the _fuck_ Sehun walked out on me as if I'd broken his heart but now he won't even answer any of my calls or messages whenever I try to ask what happened and I'm so fucking _worried_ and you're telling me I'm not _ready?_ Why the fuck would he tell _you_ but not _me_ where he is when _I'm_ his best friend??"

Jongin bristled angrily at the elder's outburst, but Kyungsoo was quicker to respond.

"I should have phrased my words more coherently," he said coldly. "It would be better if you two spend time apart until you're _both emotionally_ ready."

He returned Zitao's heated glare pointedly, and the latter eventually shrank back, shoulders slumping against the wall and head tilting backwards.

"I really fucked up, didn't I?" he breathed out, his fist pounding repeatedly against the wall next to him, and the other two's unamused expressions were immediately replaced with looks of concern. Jongin guided Zitao over to the couch in the living room, and Kyungsoo went to fetch water for the three of them from the kitchen.

"We talked to Sehun," Jongin said gently, "but we haven't heard your story yet."

Zitao ran his hands through his dark hair and tugged at them none-too-gently.

"I don't even know how much I fucked up," he murmured. "All I know is that Sehun and I did something last night when we were drunk, but I forgot _what_ \- and it hurt - or disgusted - him, I don't know which - and now he won't talk to me at all."

"What happened this morning?" Kyungsoo asked softly, passing a mug to Zitao. The latter took a swig of water, as if he was chugging alcohol.

"When I woke up," he recounted, "he was already packing his things. We were supposed to get lunch together, but he was clearly ready to leave without me. That - that should have been the first warning that something was wrong. God, why didn't I notice it earlier - "

"Tao-hyung." Jongin grabbed his hands to stop him from pounding his knees. "Don't beat yourself up over it. Take a deep breath first."

"Yeah...yeah." Zitao drew in a shaky breath to calm himself down, then continued. "When I asked him where he was going...he said he was going back home. Then - he asked if I remembered what happened last night, and I said no. He asked again if - fuck - " He paused again, closing his eyes tightly.

"If - if you don't want to talk about it yet - "

"No...no, I have to," Zitao said wearily, ignoring the uncertain looks the other two gave him. "He asked again if - if that meant last night meant nothing to me, and I - fuck - I said we were drunk and high and that whatever we did probably didn't mean anything."

The look of realisation that dawned on Jongin's and Kyungsoo's faces went unnoticed by him.

"After that, he was going to leave but I stopped him to ask what happened, and he said it was nothing and left, even though he looked as if he was on the brink of tears. I didn't realise it at first, but I asked Yifan-ge and Junmyeon-hyung and - and after that I realised - what if we - "

His voice, already having grown softer with each word, trailed off, and his bottom lip shook, but no tears came out despite the overwhelming desire to cry that crept through his heart. Kyungsoo wrapped a comforting arm around Zitao, who leaned into his shoulder, trembling slightly, and Jongin rubbed his shoulder sympathetically.

"I really fucked up," Zitao's muffled voice rambled, but Jongin shook his head.

"It's not your fault that you forgot," he said softly. "There's - some miscommunication on both ends, but Sehun could never hate you."

"We had _drunk sex_ last night. We'll never be able to go back to being best friends again."

Jongin and Kyungsoo looked at each other again uncertainly.

"I just want to see him," Zitao was rambling, "and give him the biggest hug, and tell him I'm sorry and that I actually love him, but I don't have the balls to do that, so all I can do is mope at home like the pathetic asshole I am and grieve our broken friendship." He buried his face deeper into Kyungsoo's shoulder, and the latter, along with Jongin, could do nothing but pat his back reassuringly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my heart hurts writing angst :( but one of the couples had to have miscommunication and conflict, and taohun seemed more fitting than kaisoo


	13. there is no tea, only bad news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the hyungs intervene to provide advice for zitao and sehun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chanbaek snapped

_kaa_ created group "bad news"

 _kaa_ added _luge_ , _galaxy fanfan_ , _mom_ , _lay's potato chips_ , _bacon_ , _chendae_ , _loey_ , and _iwillsooyou_ to the group

 **bacon** what's the tea

 **iwillsooyou** there is no tea

 **iwillsooyou** only bad news

 **bacon** oshit my bad

 **bacon** what's the bad news

 **lay's potato chips** does this have anything to do with tao and sehun

 **lay's potato chips** since you didn't add them

 **kaa** bingo

 **kaa** @ **galaxy fanfan** @ **mom** please offer your insights

 **galaxy fanfan** tao and sehun had sex last night but tao doesn't remember what happened and brushed it off so now sehun thinks tao rejected him and they're both moping

 **mom** ^

 **loey** oh shit

 **loey** that's p bad

 **luge** was it after that stunt they pulled last night

 **luge** when sehun grinded against tao and then they both went upstairs

 **mom** Yes

 **chendae** oh no

 **chendae** is that why none of them were online this morning

 **galaxy fanfan** that, and they were wasted and woke up late anyway

 **lay's potato chips** :(

 **lay's potato chips** have any of you talked to them yet?

 **kaa** kyungsoo-hyung and i walked in on sehun crying in our dorm

 **iwillsooyou** after that we went back to my place to find tao in a similar state but with less tears

 **luge** putting aside the fact that you were going over to each other's places despite only having started dating this morning...

 **luge** how are they coping?

 **kaa** sehun wanted to be left alone after we suggested that he talk to tao-hyung another day

 **kaa** tao-hyung wants to clear up the misunderstanding but he doesn't have the balls to talk to sehun

 **chendae** well that's inconvenient

 **chendae** i think we can give them the day to recuperate and spend time by themselves

 **lay's potato chips** yea

 **lay's potato chips** anyway they'll probably make up by themselves

 **lay's potato chips** god knows they can't live without each other

* * *

 _loey_ created group "Huang Zitao."

 _loey_ added _bacon_ and _t a o_ to the group

 **t a o** what

 **bacon** oh i like this group name

 **t a o** why did you capitalise my name

 **t a o** and add a period

 **loey** we're here to capitalise on your lamentations to manipulate you into reconciliation

 **loey** periodt

 **bacon** ALSDFJAKSLJDF

 **bacon** THAT WORDPLAY

 _t a o_ has left the group

 _loey_ added _t a o_ to the group

 **t a o** no offense but i really have nothing to say

 **loey** but we do

 **loey** it has been TWO weeks

 **loey** yall need to talk to each other to resolve the misunderstanding 

**t a o** what misunderstanding

 **bacon** don't play stupid

 **t a o** i AM stupid

 **bacon** zitao

 **bacon** what's been going on between you and sehun these past two weeks isn't healthy for the both of you

 **t a o** you make it sound like we were in a toxic relationship

 **bacon** listen to me and stop interrupting

 **bacon** i don't care what you two did that night at the party

 **bacon** but you two need to sit down face to face and talk about it properly and clear up whatever happened between you two

 **bacon** it's doing nothing good for both your feelings AND your friendship

 **bacon** and as his best friend, you don't want to lose the good times and memories you've made together with him

 **t a o** i have nothing to say

 **t a o** whatever i tell him will only make him hate me more

 **loey** sehun doesn't hate you

 **loey** it's mostly himself he's upset at

 **loey** okay tbh he's a little upset with you too

 **t a o** isn't that a comfort

 **loey** ya whatever

 **loey** but if the two of you just explain both your sides of the story, then you'd be able to work it out and clear up whatever happened

 **t a o** no but you don't understand

 **t a o** what we DID that night

 **t a o** what i did the next morning

 **t a o** not even i remember wtf we did

 **t a o** but i'm pretty sure we had sex

 **t a o** but i didn't remember and sehun did

 **loey** did you even think why he may have been pissy?

 **t a o** idk maybe because i took his virginity and he's pissed that his virginity was taken by someone he doesn't like???

 **bacon** um

 **bacon** okay tbh idk if he _was_ a virgin before you fucked him

 **loey** do you ever think like

 **loey** idk

 **loey** that sehun reciprocates your pining ass and the reason why he's avoiding you is because you said that "it didn't mean anything" and he's hurt because you didn't remember and that in his post-sex emotional state with his haphazard hormones your otherwise innocuous words made him think you rejected him which is why he's sad???

 **bacon** oh wow

 **bacon** he finna snapped huh

 **t a o** i

 **t a o** have literally been thinking about that

 **t a o** these last two weeks

 **t a o** but the million dollar question is!

 **t a o** does he really reciprocate me!!

 **t a o** or!!!

 **t a o** am!!!!

 **t a o** i!!!!!

 **t a o** just!!!!!!

 **t a o** overthinking!!!!!!!

 **loey** ...oh my fucking god

 **loey** you two are perfect for each other

 **t a o** alskdfjalksdjfkaljsdfk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **bacon** so can we take your outburst and admittance to these contemplations

 **bacon** as an indication of your willingness to meet up with sehun and talk it out?

 **t a o** no

* * *

this boy

17 years off my life

and for WHAT

yeollie is2g they're both so stupid

_iKR UGH_

_wonder how yixing-hyung and luhan-hyung are faring_

_plan b?_

plan b

* * *

 **loey** fair

 **loey** are you free this saturday at 6?

 **t a o** um

 **t a o** ya i guess

 **t a o** why

 **bacon** nah we were just wondering

 **bacon** wanna go get dinner in gangnam?

 **t a o** um

 **t a o** sure i guess

 **t a o** why are yall suddenly being so nice though

 **loey** why not

 **loey** been ages since we caught up with you

 **loey** just the three of us

 **t a o** and yall just dropped the subject so quickly despite being so desperate to push me into initiating reconciliation...?

 **bacon** well really

 **bacon** we can't force you into doing something you don't want to do

 **loey** ^^

 **loey** so are you down for dinner?

 **t a o** wow the consideration

 **t a o** but sure

* * *

 _luge_ created group "sehun"

 _luge_ added _lay's potato chips_ and _yehet_ to the group

 **lay's potato chips** sehun

 **yehet** i'm not going to talk to zitao-hyung

 **luge** nono we just wanted to know if you wanted to go for dinner on saturday at gangnam at 6

 **lay's potato chips** three of us

 **yehet** sure idm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chanbaek vs layhan though haha


	14. well.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **kaa** quick question
> 
>  **kaa** how well will this go
> 
>  **luge** ideally
> 
>  **luge** well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a [freshgays spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/55e5JG4rpghZISuleWJoHU?si=SjkWQc_YRH69ebmHXFl6_g)! they're kinda like character songs, but not all of them represent their respective characters, and are more of what i'd listen to when writing about them/songs with similar vibes to the respective members!
> 
> each member/couple has two songs, and the order i've arranged them in are (members by age), then xiuchen, krisho, chanbaek, taohun and kaisoo

_lay's potato chips_ created group "taohun"

 _lay's potato chips_ added _luge_ , _bacon_ and _loey_

 **lay's potato chips** which restaurant are we bringing them to

 **loey** um

 **loey** what's good around there

 **bacon** there's shake shack

 **bacon** paris baguette

 **bacon** coffee bean

 **bacon** starbucks

 **luge** wait are we gonna stick around to make sure they talk to each other

 **luge** or ditch them completely

 **luge** because if we ditch i wanna go to shake shack for dinner

 **lay's potato chips** omg yes let's

 **loey** then are we all eating together

 **bacon** ay sure

 **lay's potato chips** okay so shake shack is out of the question

 **luge** how about starbucks

 **luge** the one right next to shake shack

 **luge** that way we'll be like super near and able to see if one of them leaves early

 **bacon** brilliant

 **bacon** okay wait but

 **bacon** what if they see each other at the train station

 **luge** the shopping street is like really close to two stations

 **luge** so we can each meet at one

 **loey** ya

 **loey** gangnam station exit 10/11 and sinnonhyeon station exit 5/6 right

 **loey** both lead directly to gangnam daero

 **luge** yes very smart

 **bacon** okay but they both live near the snu station

 **bacon** gangnam is on line 2 too

 **bacon** so like whoever's the one meeting at sinnonhyeon might protest?

 **lay's potato chips** tbf sinnonhyeon station is closer to shake shack and starbucks than gangnam station

 **lay's potato chips** so the time taken to get there is the same either way

 **bacon** ah

 **bacon** yes that sounds good

 **loey** so anyway we bring them both to starbucks 

**loey** and we make it clear that they must stay there and talk it out and that we WILL know if they try to leave

 **loey** and hop over to shake shack

 **loey** is that right

 **luge** yes very smart

 **loey** why am i suddenly very smart

 **luge** why not

 **luge** anyway who wants to go to sinnonhyeon

 **bacon** idm

 **loey** same

 **lay's potato chips** aight thanks

 **lay's potato chips** so we'll let them know

* * *

**chendae** how's the plan going

 **loey** great

 **loey** they're gonna meet at gangnam tomorrow at 6

 **loey** wait this is the bad news group right

 **galaxy fanfan** no this is the freshgays group

 **bacon** wait WHAT

 **mom** YES this is the bad news group

 **loey** oh thank fuck

 **loey** they had us in the first half, i'm not gonna lie

 **chendae** is this really a time to be quoting memes hhflksdjfk

 **loey** it is always the time to be quoting memes

 **iwillsooyou** okay but how did you get them to agree to meet tomorrow

 **luge** they didn't!

 **luge** we conned them :)

 **lay's potato chips** sehun thinks he's meeting lu-ge and i

 **lay's potato chips** tao's supposedly having dinner with chanyeol and baekhyun

 **kaa** damn you guys really used plan b huh

 **chendae** well i mean

 **chendae** sometimes you need a little emotional manipulation to get you places

 **mom** It's for their own good too

 **galaxy fanfan** what if they leave without talking tho

 **luge** nah they won't

 **luge** even if they do the four of us are right next door to drag them back

 **iwillsooyou** where are you even meeting

 **bacon** well we're bringing them to sbux

 **bacon** the one right next to shake shack

 **bacon** then we'll yeet over to shake shack

 **kaa** what if they meet at the train station

 **loey** baek and i are meeting tao at sinnonhyeon

 **loey** luhan-hyung and yixing-hyung are meeting sehun at gangnam

 **galaxy fanfan** wow you guys really thought this through when you decided to con them huh

 **luge** yes very smart

 **loey** what is with you calling everyone smart

 **lay's potato chips** guess we can add that to the list of iconic quotes in our friend group with "pussy ass shit" and "laid" "you called?"

 **mom** What

 **bacon** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kaa** quick question

 **kaa** how well will this go

 **luge** ideally

 **luge** well

 **kaa** well

 **kaa** i don't want the two to burst into my dorm room sucking face and grinding again

 **chendae** they'd probably go to kyungsoo's apartment, since the dorm isn't exactly private

 **iwillsooyou** idk if you know but i have neighbours

 **chendae** sksksksksk you kNOW what i mEAn

 **mom** I agree with Jongdae though

 **mom** Kyungsoo's apartment is also bigger, and they wouldn't be disturbed by any of the other students

 **lay's potato chips** i like how udc about the kids disturbing the other students lmao

 **kaa** so um

 **kaa** would you like to crash my room tmr night @ **iwillsooyou**

 **galaxy fanfan** isn't it a little early to be staying over at each other's

 **galaxy fanfan** it's been two weeks

 **kaa** um

 **kaa** i'm sorry?

 **bacon** dad's being overprotective, don't worry

 **bacon** over the both of you, not just kyungsoo

 **iwillsooyou** @ **kaa** i mean since we're alr going out the whole day idm

 **luge** w h i p p e d

 **loey** that should be another iconic quote

 **galaxy fanfan** don't do anything inappropriate

 **mom** Oh my god Fan they're 19 and 20 let them live

 **galaxy fanfan** ik but

 **galaxy fanfan** don't do anything inappropriate

 **kaa** yay!

 **kaa** :D

 **iwillsooyou** :)

 **chendae** ugh my eyes

 **chendae** don't pda in front of my single ass

 **mom** Maybe you should grow a set of balls and talk to Minseok-hyung so you'll stop shitting on other couples

 **luge** OH MY GOD

 **loey** ALKDSFJALSKDFJSKLDJF

 **chendae** mOtHeR

* * *

"I don't understand why we couldn't have just met at Gangnam Station," Sehun questioned, running a hand through his blonde hair. "I really wouldn't have minded walking that far."

"But _I_ would," Luhan quipped. "I'm getting old, Sehunnie, and I don't want to aggravate my poor bones even further."

"You're only four years older than me," the younger replied, "and we usually meet at Gangnam Station when we go to Gangnam; why the sudden change today?"

"Have some sympathy for your sunbae, Sehunnie," Yixing defended. "He fell asleep the wrong side last night and now his bones hurt. He doesn't need you rubbing salt into his wounds."

"There are no wounds - "

" _Figurative_ wounds."

"Anyway, Sinnonhyeon is closer to Starbucks than Gangnam," Yixing continued cheerily, "so the total travelling time is more or less the same either way."

"But the _jihacheol_ fare is _higher_ ," Sehun protested. 

"Be grateful you're a student and that your fare isn't any higher than it already is." Sehun grumbled, but chose not to dwell on the topic. Luhan and Yixing exchanged sly glances, lips curling into identical grins, and Sehun glanced dubiously at the two.

"What's going on?" he asked suspiciously. "Why do you two keep doing that?" The elders said nothing, turning to look in front, and Sehun followed their gazes, confused.

He came face-to-face with an equally baffled Zitao, flanked by Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who had the same shit-eating grins plastered on their faces.

"Oh, _hell_ no," Zitao and Sehun said in unison, and immediately turned to walk away, but Luhan and Yixing had pinned Sehun's arms behind his back, as Chanyeol had done to Zitao, and the two youngest boys were being pulled into Starbucks before they were both shoved unceremoniously into a pair of plush chairs, facing one another again.

"Why are you doing this?" Zitao whined as he tried to get up again, only for Baekhyun to plant his hands firmly on the former's shoulders to push him back down.

"You two are going to sort out your lover's spat tonight," Luhan announced, leaning against the arm keeping a thrashing Sehun in his seat.

"There isn't any spat to discuss!"

"Seeing how you're both moping and emotionally running yourselves down - as well as disrupting the overall group dynamic - " Zitao and Sehun had the grace to assume apologetic expressions, lowering their heads and refusing to meet Baekhyun's steely gaze " - we've decided to stage an intervention and get you two to reconcile."

"But - "

"We're going to leave you two here to talk things out in private," Yixing continued, "and we want to hear that you two sorted this mess out properly."

"And we _will_ know," Chanyeol added menacingly, gesturing between himself and the two with his index and middle fingers in an "I can see you" sign, before he and the other three were slinking out of the cafe, eyes never leaving the maknaes sitting awkwardly across from each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this is progressing much slower than i anticipated and i feel really bad that minseok hasn't made an appearance yet :( but i promise his story is good!
> 
> jeoncheol/jihacheol is the seoul metropolitan subway
> 
> if you have time please leave comments! i'd love to know what you think of the story and you may feel free to write and rant about anything, as well as offer constructive criticism when applicable too :)


	15. tldr, i'm in like with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zitao and sehun finally sort out their feelings once and for all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please have mercy on taohun's korean they aren't thinking straight they're too gay and smitten for each other

Sehun squirmed in his seat uncomfortably, shifting every other second.

He knew that he would have eventually had to come clean with Zitao. Baekhyun was right; he had, admittedly, spent the last two weeks wallowing away in self-pity and avoiding the Chinese boy at all costs. He hadn't even considered how their blatant refusal to even so much as be in the same room affected the group dynamic; now that he thought about it, not a word had been said in the freshgays chat group, and he was hit with another wave of guilt.

Deep down, he wanted desperately to meet Zitao again - had wanted to since the day he fled back to his dorm and wallowed away in his own thoughts after the admittedly embarrassing cry-fest - but he just couldn't find the courage to approach Zitao. In a sense, he had the hyungs to thank for dragging him down to initiate some progress towards their reconciliation - if only he wouldn't fuck it up tonight.

"I'm leaving," Zitao muttered, and the older boy started to gather his things and get up.

"Wait!" Sehun blurted out, voice shriller than he would have liked. "Can - can we talk?"

Zitao didn't turn to face him, but his eyes shifted to fix the younger with a narrowed gaze.

"Talk?" he questioned, voice uncharacteristically devoid of emotion. "After essentially leaving me on read and avoiding me for two weeks now you want to talk?"

"You make it sound like I sought you out of my own free will," Sehun answered, raising an eyebrow. "Since the hyungs took the trouble of conning us into meeting here, we might as well get it over and done with."

"'Get it over and done with?'" Zitao turned to face Sehun properly. "If you came here to offer your consolation just to please them, then I don't need your pointless apologies."

"Oh, I offer to resolve the fucking mess we got ourselves into with you and you brush them off as pointless apologies? What a way to validate my sincerity, asswipe."

"Sincerity, my ass; you literally just said we might as well get it over and done with. You probably never cared, anyway."

Sehun flinched at the coldness in his voice, and looked down, swallowing the snappy retort previously resting on the tip of his tongue.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, not even sure if the other could hear him. "That - that came out wrong. You're right; you - you probably never want to see me again, but I just want to clear this - this mess up on my part so we can both have some peace of mind."

There was a pregnant pause, then Zitao finally sat down again.

"...why don't we order first?" he suggested, voice calmer, and Sehun finally looked up to meet his gaze. Impassive, but not unwelcoming; he took it as a good - or neutral-ish at best sign. Nodding in agreement, the two of them went up to the cashier and placed their respective orders, before returning to their seats.

"So, um," Sehun started hesitantly, "how's that music project coming along?"

"What?"

"The piano ballad you were working on. You were struggling with the lyrics for the chorus."

"Oh. It's going fine."

"Ah."

Sehun was 99.9% sure the tension in the atmosphere could be cut with one of Zitao's wushu swords. He twiddled his thumbs, hoping that they would at least start talking after their orders were ready.

"What about your test?" It took Sehun a couple of seconds to register that Zitao was talking to him.

"What?"

"Your business analytics test."

"Ah. It was okay." Aaaaand back to square one. Just as Sehun was seriously contemplating getting up and leaving in shame, a voice called out their orders, and the pair immediately jumped up to collect their meals. 

Zitao wordlessly opened his bag and took out two metal straws, passing one to Sehun.

"I didn't bring it for you," he said immediately, "I was initially going to lend the hyungs my metal straws; I have another in my bag. Also, save the environment."

"If you say so," Sehun answered, choosing not to comment that Zitao only had two metal straws, and that he recognised the one in his hands as the one that the Chinese boy always carried around in his bag specially for him. He opened his meat pasta sandwich box and stuck the straw into his chocolate cream chip frappuccino, slurping the ice-blended drink and smacking his lips softly in satisfaction. The two of them ate their meals in silence for the first few minutes, eyes darting around the cafe.

"So - "

"Anyway - "

Zitao flushed and Sehun looked away bashfully.

"You can go first."

"No no, you go first."

"No you."

"No you."

"Asdlfkljfs no _you_."

"Did you just keyboard smash out loud?"

"Oh my god just go first. Age before beauty."

Zitao bleated in offense, and Sehun stuck out his tongue, scrunching up his nose. They made eye contact, and Sehun immediately became conscious of how familiarly they were speaking, almost as if the two weeks had never happened; he quickly retracted his tongue as Zitao cleared his throat, the two reaching for their drinks and taking a sip.

"I didn't mean what I said just now," Zitao started, "about you never caring - I hope?"

"That's reassuring."

"I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now," Zitao retaliated without any real malice, "so don't be a smart ass when I'm trying my best and let me fucking finish."

"Point taken."

Zitao pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering in Chinese to himself.

"Okay," he breathed, "I know I've been a major dick the past two weeks, what with deliberately avoiding you and everything - and I also know that I did something that night of the party to you, which I honestly still don't exactly remember - "

"You - you really don't remember?" Sehun asked wearily.

"I'm a forgetful drunk," Zitao admitted, "and I probably sound accusatory, but I'd have really appreciated a more concrete explanation to refresh my memory over being walked out on that day."

Sehun opened his mouth to retort that yes, he did sound accusatory, but Zitao was right; he _had_ acted impulsively when he ran away like the coward he was.

"Um," he replied eloquently.

"I dunno, it's just - " Zitao fiddled with his helix stud uncertainly, "I really care for you, Hunah - I just want to know what I did that upset you, so I won't do it again in the future."

"...it wasn't really your fault that you forgot," Sehun muttered, picking absently at the bottom of his cup with his straw. "Like you said, it wasn't anything important."

"But it was important to _you_ ," Zitao protested.

"It really doesn't matter - "

"Did we have sex?"

Sehun choked, the mouthful of choc cream chip frappe he had just taken going up the wrong pipe and threatening to be expelled through his nostrils.

"I - I - why would you - " he spluttered

"So we really did, huh," Zitao said vaguely.

"You _remembered??_ "

"I really didn't! I wouldn't have suspected if Yifan-ge and Junmyeon-hyung didn't tell me. Not that they knew though - like, they kind of knew, but they didn't _know_ , you know?"

"I don't."

"Fuck."

"You're not being helpful."

Zitao closed his eyes briefly, as if he was beseeching the heavens to grant him patience.

"So we had sex that night," he clarified, "but what about it upset you? Did I take advantage of you? If so, I'm really so - "

" _No,_ you didn't," Sehun cut in hastily. "It was consensual on both our parts. You didn't take advantage of me or anything."

"Then _why_ are you upset about it? Was I a shitty top? Or bottom? Whichever way we did it?"

_Do I tell him now? Do I never tell him? When's a good time to say it?_

"Are we no homo? Does it even count as consensual if we were both drunk when fucking? Did you realise after you woke up sober that you actually hadn't wanted to fuck me?"

Sehun's hands were trembling in his lap; he clenched his fists in a poor attempt to steady them. _How do I tell him? Do I like_ like _him or do I love him? Do I say I like him or I'm in love with him?_

"Or did I take your virginity when you were actually saving for - "

"STOP!" Zitao stopped, mouth still open, and Sehun waved his fists in the air haphazardly.

"No wait, I didn't mean to say that so aggressively, but - fuck - it's complicated. Just give me a moment."

He took a deep breath, steadying himself. It was now or never; better to bite the bullet and resolve this mess once and forever.

"TLDR, I'm in like with you."

Even before the words had fully left his mouth, Sehun already knew how stupid they sounded. _Why the_ fuck _did I say "TLDR" out loud?_ Evidently, Zitao shared the same sentiments, if the confused expression on his face was any indication.

"What?"

"I'm - _I_ like you. Just putting my thesis forward first before I elaborate."

Zitao was quiet as Sehun took another sip of his drink for his throat, which had suddenly become very dry.

"I've liked you since we became best friends," he continued, "and at the party two weeks ago, when you _advanced_ on me, you seemed like you reciprocated - so I guess that's why I agreed to fuck." He cringed internally at the last word.

"But then the next day, you didn't remember anything. Again, it isn't your fault - you said you're a forgetful drunk - but I was emotional after having sex with my crush, and hearing you say it was nothing kinda put me down, you know? Like, I thought that if you weren't in it for the feelings, you'd be in at least for the sex, but even the sex was bad, and I thought it'd drive you away. So I left first because I didn't want to hear you reject me properly. But - I guess it would have come in the end."

Sehun's hands had stopped shaking, but he could still hear the blood rushing in his ears. He stared down at the crumbs on his plate, wishing that Zitao would say something so that everything would be over quicker.

"Please say something," he mumbled, "reject me, ask me if I'm joking, leave - anything. I don't think I can take the silence anymore." His eyes were now on his frappe, stinging slightly. Any moment now, Zitao would laugh nervously, say that he didn't like Sehun that way and falsely assure him they would still be friends.

He didn't expect Zitao's tanned hands to enter his field of view and wrap around his slightly-smaller, fairer ones.

Startled, Sehun looked up to meet Zitao's relieved gaze.

"I was so worried I'd hurt you," he confessed, "well - hurt _hurt_ you. I thought you hated me." He squeezed Sehun's hands firmly, and the younger felt his cheeks heat up slightly.

"And just to _put my thesis forward first before I elaborate_ ," the elder went on, the corner of his lips twitching in amusement as he echoed Sehun's previous words and earned a weary look from the latter, "I'm in like with you too, Hunah."

The look of mortification was instantly replaced with one of disbelief. Had he heard him correctly? 

"I was admittedly pissed when you left and avoided my calls and texts. I was really worried, you know," Zitao chastised lightly, his fingers stroking the sides of Sehun's hands. "But I never slept with you 'just for the sex'. I thought you might return my feelings too."

Sehun flushed lightly, still amazed that Zitao reciprocated his feelings too.

"I suppose I'm to blame for avoiding you as well. After what I perceived as your rejection, I thought I was giving you space by avoiding you, but we only ended up distancing ourselves from each other."

"Since when is your Korean so eloquent?" the younger replied weakly, sarcasm kicking in as his default defense mechanism to hide his embarrassment.

"Let me have my moment. One of us needs to have the romantic confession, and it evidently isn't you."

"It's not like yours is any better."

"Hey, at least I wasn't the one who used 'TLDR' in my confession."

Sehun's face broke into the first true smile he'd sported in two weeks, his eyes crinkling as he bent over slightly, shoulders shaking. When he straightened up, Zitao was gazing at him fondly, a soft smile on his own face.

"Never lose your spirit, Hunah," he said softly. "You look more beautiful smiling like that." 

Sehun's cheeks heated up even further at his words, but he couldn't help the smile that was fixed on his face.

"So TLDR, we're both in like with each other, I guess?"

"Affirmative."

"Never knew you knew the word 'affirmative'."

"Again, I've been in Korea since middle school, you disrespectful brat."

"Well, I've been in Korea since I was born, beat that."

"You're _Korean_."

Sehun detached his hands from Zitao's in favour of picking up his cup and finishing his frappe. 

"So I know you'll probably say yes since we like each other and all that," Zitao said, moving to finish his own caramel macchiato.

"'And all that'," Sehun mocked, making air quotations with his fingers and pulling a face when the other smacked his fingers.

"But will you be my boyfriend?"

"Only if you'll be mine too," he answered, mentally patting himself on the back for that smooth response. Zitao rolled his eyes mock-exasperatedly.

"Of course I will."

"As will I."

They finished up the remnants of their meals and drinks, then left the cafe. Sehun would have liked to hold Zitao's hand, but the general public didn't take to the LGBT+ community as warmly as their school students did, so he pressed himself close to Zitao, chattering aimlessly about what had happened in the past two weeks and complaining about school.

It was around 9pm when the two of them finally grew sick of wandering around Gangnam shopping street and munching on street food, so they headed for Gangnam Station to take the subway back to their respective places. Sehun found a seat and made himself comfortable while Zitao hovered above him, leaning against the arm holding onto the handle.

The ride was fairly uneventful, the two talking about anything and everything and sharing memes they'd found, but it wasn't until they was approaching Sadang that things started heating up when Zitao leaned close to Sehun, eyes shifting briefly to the side to check no one was paying attention.

"I wanna take you so bad," he murmured, voice deeper and raspier than usual, "wreck you so good that you'll be a shaking mess begging for more."

Sehun gulped, biting his bottom lip at Zitao's words and trying not to think about the warmth that was pooling low in his stomach now. He said nothing, head slightly bowed, but he met Zitao's gaze and hoped his eyes conveyed enough.

Two more stops before they reached their station. Two more stops before Sehun would, presumably, follow Zitao back to his apartment and fall apart once more in his arms. Two more stops before Sehun and Zitao would relive that night two weeks ago, but soberer and more assured.

Sehun took Zitao's hand and let the elder pull him through the doors, out of the train, into the apartment, into a new chapter of their relationship - together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zitao is a good environmentally-friendly boi :]
> 
> also i'm sorry that updates have been slower :( i've been juggling work and household chores during quarantine, and i've also faced a bit of a writer's block :/


	16. r e s p e c c

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **loey** he protecc
> 
>  **loey** he attacc
> 
>  **loey** but most importantly
> 
>  **loey** he don't respecc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after the crack the angst
> 
> after the angst the crack
> 
> and minseok is finally added to the group!
> 
> WARNING: like two lines of implied sexual content

**loey** do you think they fucked

 **t a o** yes

 **loey** hOLY SHIT I DIDN'T REALISE THIS WAS THE FRESHGAYS GROUP

 **t a o** surprise bitch

 **t a o** i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me

 **chendae** omg

 **chendae** it's been so long since we used this gc

 **luge** wassup fuckers

 **luge** so have yall sorted out your emotional crap

 **yehet** yehet

 **lay's potato chips** you're welcome

 **kaa** so what's up now

 **kaa** are yall together

 **yehet** yehet

 **bacon** how did it go

 **yehet** yehet

 **galaxy fanfan** drinking game: take a shot every time sehun says yehet

 **yehet** yehet

 **mom** Okay but seriously what happened

 **yehet** nothing much tbh

 **yehet** we just talked and made up and walked around abit

 **galaxy fanfan** nice

 **iwillsooyou** is nobody going to talk about the fact that tao affirmed chanyeol's statement

 **luge** oh my god

 **luge** yall really did the nasty

 **lay's potato chips** how was it

 **t a o** best fuck i ever had

 **yehet** tbh hes the best lay ive ever had in bed

 **lay's potato chips** you're welcome

 **bacon** well at least we know sehun wasn't a virgin

 **yehet** ya lmao hes probably my fourth or something idk

 **t a o** wow way to go talking about your previous fucks on our second day as a couple

 **yehet** you had two exes before me stfu

 **t a o** true

 **mom** I'm glad you two made up though

 **t a o** yea we realised we kinda also affected the group dynamic by making yall worry

 **yehet** sorry :(

 **galaxy fanfan** nah it's chill

 **galaxy fanfan** as long as you two are good

 **t a o** gucci

 **iwillsooyou** that's all nice and good but if you fucked anywhere besides in tao's room i'll whoop your asses harder than tao whooped sehun's

 **kaa** OH MY GOD

 **loey** ALSDKFJASLDJF SOO

 **t a o** aRe YoU sPaNkShAmInG mE

 **t a o** did you forget about the time i came home to jongin tHIS close to fucking you naked under your apron

 **kaa** only as much as the time i entered my dorm in time to see sehun shove his ass in your face

 **galaxy fanfan** yo what the fUCK

 **luge** CAN YOU MAYBE NEVER SAY SHIT LIKE THAT AGAIN

 **lay's potato chips** ALSKDFJLKSDJF JONGIN REALLY POPPED OFF HUH

 **yehet** whY ARE YOU BRINGING ME INTO THIS

 **yehet** WE WERENT EVEN DATING BACK THEN WE WERE JUST FUCKING AROUND

 **iwillsooyou** wHAT

 **t a o** FOOLING AROUND

 **t a o** FUCKING AROUND AS IN FOOLING AROUND JDNCNDKVKDK

 **chendae** DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO SAY ALL THIS HERE

 **bacon** iS NOBODY GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT KYUNGSOO COOKS NAKED IN AN APRON

 **loey** IS NOBODY GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT _JONGIN_ HAS AN _APRON KINK_

 **mom** STOP

 **mom** FUCKING STOP ALKSDJFKSDJF

 **galaxy fanfan** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 **kaa** TAO STARTED IT

 **t a o** OH SO IT'S TAO TO YOU NOW HUH

 **t a o** WHAT HAPPENED TO Z U N Z H O N G FOR YOUR ELDERS

 **kaa** TF IS A ZUNZHONG

 **t a o** respecc

 **t a o** R E S P E C C

 **loey** he protecc

 **loey** he attacc

 **loey** but most importantly

 **loey** he don't respecc

 **lay's potato chips** b-beautiful

 **iwillsooyou** did you make a fucking poem

 **iwillsooyou** right in front of my salad

 **luge** this group is so fucking chaotic

 **lay's potato chips** freshgays who

 **lay's potato chips** taohun soft hours uwu whomst

 _lay's potato chips_ changed the subject from "taohun soft hours uwu" to "d i s r e s p e c c"

 **lay's potato chips** i only know d i s r e s p e c c

 **luge** yes very smart

 **loey** and the yes very smart saga continues

 **iwillsooyou** kill me

 **yehet** yehet

* * *

**luge** jongdae would you object greatly if we added minnie to our delightful little family group

 **yehet** ya it sucks that hes been hanging out with us these past two weeks but we still havent added him

 **chendae** why must you phrase your sentence like that

 **luge** so you _won't_ object then?

 **chendae** i never said i wouldn't object

 **luge** you never said you'd object either

 _luge_ added _marshmallow_ to the group

 **chendae** fuck you

 **marshmallow** What

 **chendae** wait no i didn't mean that to you

 **chendae** i meant it to @ **luge** before you were added

 **marshmallow** Ah

 **marshmallow** Who is this?

 **bacon** omg mom

 **bacon** you have a fellow capitalist now

 **mom** For the last time can you stop referring to people who capitalise their words appropriately as capitalists

 **marshmallow** You could always use capitaliser instead

 **marshmallow** Also what is this group

 **luge** sup minseok

 **marshmallow** Sup lu

 **bacon** nvm he's a semi capitalist

 **mom** Baekhyun Is2g

 **lay's potato chips** it's the gay squad

 **loey** i'm pan

 **lay's potato chips** gay is kinda an unofficial umbrella term for the lgbt community

 **kaa** i thought queer was an umbrella term

 **chendae** ya but some people consider queer an insult

 **chendae** i mean i personally don't but different people interpret queer differently

 **chendae** also all my lgbt friends call themselves gay even if they actually aren't?

 **kaa** whoops my bad

 **galaxy fanfan** it's chill

 **galaxy fanfan** anyway @ **marshmallow** it's the gay squad

 **bacon** ~~the freshgays squad~~

 **marshmallow** Ah

 **marshmallow** Do i just figure out who is who along the way or

 **iwillsooyou** @ **luge** is luhan-hyung, @ **galaxy fanfan** is yifan-hyung, @ **mom** is junmyeon-hyung, @ **lay's potato chips** is yixing-hyung, @ **bacon** is baekhyun-hyung, @ **chendae** is jongdae-hyung, @ **loey** is chanyeol, i'm kyungsoo, @ **t a o** is zitao, @ **kaa** is jongin and @ **yehet** is sehun

 **marshmallow** Oh wow

 **marshmallow** Thanks

 **iwillsooyou** no prob

 **marshmallow** Is the group name some inside joke or

 **yehet** ya it was from when jongin didnt call taozi hyung and taozi went off on him about disrespect in chinese

 **kaa** "what happened to zunchong for your elders"

 **galaxy fanfan** ***zhong

 **bacon** what does zunchong mean

 **galaxy fanfan** depends which characters you write it with but if the zun is the same then zunchong means worship

 **t a o** you can also use worm for chong to form "respect worm"

 **t a o** which is exactly what jongin should learn from because even a worm has more respecc than him

 **luge** ZUNCHONG

 **lay's potato chips** i'm crying "respect worm"

 **kaa** will you ever let that go hbsdlfkjsd

 **t a o** should've thought twice before defending your love's honour

 **kaa** should've thought twice before insulting my love's honour

 **kaa** square up zitao

 **t a o** i know wushu you disrespectful brat

 **kaa** and i know taekwondo

 **bacon** you said you stopped learning after 2 months

 **kaa** he doesn't need to know that

 **iwillsooyou** does the boyfriend store accept returns

 **yehet** sure hope it does

 **marshmallow** What

 **mom** Don't even bother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nobody:  
> not even lee soo man:  
> member: iS nObOdY gOiNg To TaLk AbOuT tHe FaCt ThA-
> 
> zunzhong 尊重 means respect in chinese  
> the first zunchong 尊崇 means worship but if written the way tao says it'd be 尊虫 which isn't a proper word but is literally translated to respect worm lmao


	17. xxxyelLOwEYnoranghuang61xxx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys talk about harry potter and related topics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to redo the pottermore sorting hat quiz like 3 times to get a hufflepuff
> 
> i've also started working on a 100 days my prince fic! it's a chaptered fic with each chapter being a oneshot in itself unless otherwise stated, so for those who watched 100 days my prince you can check it out **[here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24820012/chapters/60032371)**!

**galaxy fanfan** my life is a lie

 **galaxy fanfan** i thought i was a slytherin but

 **galaxy fanfan**

**chendae** yo there's nothing wrong with being in hufflepuff

 **galaxy fanfan** i never said there was anything wrong

 **galaxy fanfan** i just always thought i was a slytherin

 **lay's potato chips** lmao no you aren't

 **bacon** it's the eyebrows

 **bacon** he looks like an angry bird

 **mom** Can confirm

 **mom**

**iwillsooyou** LMAO

 **luge** HAHAHAHAHAHA

 **luge** WHEN WAS THAT FROM

 **mom** Oh man like

 **mom** Five years ago?

 **galaxy fanfan** ya five years ago

 **galaxy fanfan** also why do you still have that photo omg

 **mom** Why not

 **galaxy fanfan** wasn't i drunk

 **mom** Probably

 **yehet** tbf i was afraid of him for like 5 seconds because of the eyebrows

 **yehet** until he opened his mouth

 **kaa** HAHAHAHAHA

 **t a o** WHY IS THAT SO TRUE THOUGH

 **galaxy fanfan** the disrespeCT

 **luge** **disrespecc

 **t a o** ***zunzhong

 **lay's potato chips** ****zunChong

 **kaa** are we really bringing this back again

 **t a o** until you learn to worm up

 **kaa** fuck you

 **marshmallow** Okay but is it just me or did any of yall have issues with the movies

 **marshmallow** Because if you asked me to write my thesis paper on the inaccurate portrayals the hp film series was guilty on boy i'd graduate valedictorian with first class honours

 **chendae** hArRy DiD yOu PuT yOuR nAmE iN tHe GoBlEt Of FiRe

 **luge** \- dumbledore asked _c a l m l y_

 **chendae** BITCH SAME

 **chendae** DUMBLE DORE ASKED CALMLY

 **chendae** C A L M L Y

 **loey** also the way they did my man ron so dirty in the movies

 **loey** they reDUCED HIM to a chicken-eating glutton when he was hARRY'S BEST FUCKING FRIEND IN THE BOOKS

 **lay's potato chips** IKR

 **lay's potato chips** THEY GAVE ALL HIS GOOD MOMENTS TO HERMIONE

 **kaa** SAME like i love hermione but damn give ron credit man wtf

 **galaxy fanfan** my man deadass told sirius black, then-assumed serial killer and henchman to moldywart, that he'd had to kill him to get to harry

 **bacon** on a broKEN LEG

 **luge** "moldywart"

 **chendae** SKSKSKSK

 **chendae** honestly get you a friend like ron

 **marshmallow** The fact that they left out so many of the sickest burns is a sin in itself

 **iwillsooyou** there's no need to call me sir, professor

 **iwillsooyou** it's the most iconic line

 **iwillsooyou** honestly if i were in harry's batch i'd remember him for that instead of for surviving the killing curse

 **t a o** honestly harry would probably rather be remembered for that than as the boy who lived

 **yehet** f a c t s

 **luge** do yall ever remember reading my immortal

 **iwillsooyou** my what

 **kaa** my immortal

 **kaa** that godawful fanfic by xxxbloodyrists666xxx or something

 **yehet** you even memorised the authors user lmao

 **loey** oh my god

 **loey** you know i actually read the entire fucking fic

 **loey** in real time

 **chendae** bitch no way

 **loey** bitch yes way

 **marshmallow** How...did you even...make it through...

 **iwillsooyou** wait i heard about it but i never actually read it

 **iwillsooyou** what's it actually about

 **yehet** wait you never read my immortal???????

 **iwillsooyou** no,,,,,,

 **mom** I never read it either

 **bacon** same

 **lay's potato** **chips** same

 **galaxy fanfan** same

 **t a o** yall didn't even read the first chapter???

 **bacon** no,,,,

 **luge** oh you guys are in for a wild ride

 **lay's potato chips** wait wtf are you gonna send it

 **luge** Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way

 **t a o** oh god

 **luge** and I have long ebony black hair

 **luge** (that’s how I got my name)

 **mom** What the fuck is this

 **luge** with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee _(AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!)_.

 **galaxy fanfan** please stop

 **luge** [[I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

 **bacon** HAHAHAHAHAHAH

 **bacon** HAHAHA

 **bacon** haha

 **t a o** i can't believe he sent that word for word

 **galaxy fanfan** is 

**galaxy fanfan** is this for real

 **loey** wait hyung you forgot the best part

 **loey** “Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

 **loey** “What’s up Draco?” I asked.

 **loey** “Nothing.” he said shyly.

 **loey** But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

 **loey** XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **loey** _AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!_

 **iwillsooyou** what the fuck

 **kaa** you forgot the a/n at the beginning

 **kaa** _A/N Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!_

 **bacon** full offense the writing sucks

 **chendae** well it isn't called the worst fic ever for nothing

 **marshmallow** No it gets worse

 **mom** Yeah um don't send any more thanks

 **bacon** yeol how the fuck did you read the whole fic

 **bacon** my eyes already hurt from that excerpt 

**loey** idek man

 **iwillsooyou** i genuinely cannot tell if this is a deluded emo goth girl

 **iwillsooyou** or someone shitposting really hard

 **loey** whenever i'm in a writing slump i remind myself that my immortal exists

 **loey** and i take comfort knowing that my lyrics will never be as bad as my immortal

 **marshmallow** Why is that such a mood though

 **yehet** does anybody remember the time chanyeol-hyung tried to rewrite my immortal

 **marshmallow** He what

 **chendae** omg ya

 **loey** no

 **chendae** don't lie bitch

 **chendae** you texted me about it two years ago

 **loey** hahahahaha what are you talking about lmao

 **chendae** chanyeol you asshole i know you deleted the messages

 **kaa** holup chanyeol-hyung writes fanfics?

 **galaxy fanfan** HAHAHAHA

 **galaxy fanfan** bet you wrote those y/n inserts hahahahaha

 **loey** dAD

 **iwillsooyou** lmao so you write music AND literature

 **loey** NO I DON'T

 **chendae** nO i DoN't

 **loey** IM SERIOUS

 **marshmallow** So I just did a quick search and

 **marshmallow** "xxxyelLOwEYnoranghuang61xxx"

 **loey** NO

 **kaa** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **kaa** WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKK

 **kaa** "XXX YELLOWEY YELLOW YELLOW 61 XXX"

 **loey** SHUT UPPPPP

 **marshmallow** He has like 14 works

 **lay's potato chips** omg i'm gonna go check it out

 **yehet** "AN:This is what I would like to call a valiant attempt at rewriting what is claimed to be the worst fanfiction of all time, but it's probably better to call it a huge, f*cking waste of my time."

 **bacon** ASLDKFJLSKDJF

 **loey** STOP

 **yehet** " _My Immortal_ was originally written by FanFiction.Net user 'XXXbloodyrists666XXX' and edited by FanFiction.Net user 'bloodytearz666'. Despite the best attempts of the original editor, the English used in the piece can only be described as enigmatic at best."

 **chendae** WHY IS THE FOREWORD ACTUALLY BETTER THAN THE REST OF THE ORIGINAL FIC HFDKLSJFLKSJD

 **yehet** "Be prepared for it to turn into a giant shitpost very quickly as I know little to nothing about the Harry Potter franchise. But then again, it seems that neither did the original author."

 **galaxy fanfan** how long had you been in the fandom when you wrote this

 **loey** like,,,, a few months,,,,,, it was AGES AGO WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT

 **yehet** no wait this is the best part

 **yehet** "The void calls us. Let us begin our descent into hell."

 **iwillsooyou** so how does the rest of the fic go

 **marshmallow** Nothing

 **marshmallow** That's literally the only chapter

 **mom** You mean you posted ONE chapter, which wasn't even a chapter but a FOREWORD, and never touched it again??????

 **loey** lISTEN DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THE FIC IS

 **loey** IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO REWRITE MY IMMORTAL

 **kaa** bless

 **marshmallow** Oh chanyeol

 **galaxy fanfan** how did we get from me being a hufflepuff to shitty fanfic

 **iwillsooyou** idec anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you didn't get jongin's joke norang and huang mean yellow in korean and chinese respectively so chanyeol's username is basically yellowey yellow yellow hhfkdslfjs
> 
> to this day i can't tell if my immortal was trolled or if it was genuine,,,,,,,,
> 
> also one of my friends mat actually did try to rewrite my immortal HAHA so everything yeol wrote is essentially what mat wrote :))) hit her up [@beelzeburger](https://un-beel-ievable.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!!!
> 
> potter-ls (?? is this the name) what're your houses/patronuses etc.? i'm a gryffindor and my patronus is an irish wolfhound/raven


	18. snow go whoosh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chanyeol brain vomits in the group and the members develops a superpower au thenceforth. zitao also kinkshames kaisoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: like two lines of implied sexual content

**loey** when the skies and the grounds were one, the legends, through their twelve forces, nurtured the tree of life .

**loey** an eye of red force created the evil which coveted the heart of tree of life, and the heart  slowly  grew dry.

**loey** to attend and embrace the heart of tree of life, the legends hereby divide the tree in half, and hide each side.

**loey** hence, time  is overturned , and space turns askew. the twelve forces divide into two, and create two suns that look alike, into two worlds that seem alike.

**loey** the legends travel apart.  the legends  shall  now see the same sky but  shall  stand on different grounds,  shall  stand on the same ground but  shall  see different skies .

**loey** the day the grounds beget a single file before one sky in two worlds that seem alike, the legends will greet each other .

**loey** the day the red forces purify and the twelve forces reunite into one perfect root, a new world  shall  open up.

**galaxy fanfan** the fuck kinda anime you been watching

**loey** idk lmao it's  just  brain vomit

**marshmallow** Okay but why does it sound like the prologue of a superpower fantasy au

 **bacon** omg it actually does

 **yehet** write a fic on it

 **loey** ukw i think i will

 **loey** aight what superpowers yall want

 **marshmallow** Cryokinesis

 **bacon** what's that

 **kaa** teleportation so i can sleep more

 **galaxy fanfan** @ **bacon** snow go whoosh

 **iwillsooyou** @ **kaa** mood

 **bacon** :o

 **luge** "snow go whoosh"

 **chendae** thunder

 **marshmallow** Correct

 **lay's potato chips** i'm confused

 **luge** lmao everything's getting lost

 **mom** Why don't we just compile it in a list so the powers don't get lost in the spam

 **iwillsooyou** minseok: snow/ice manip  
luhan: telekinesis  
yifan:  
junmyeon:  
yixing:  
baekhyun:  
jongdae: thunder/lightning manip  
chanyeol:  
kyungsoo: earth manip/super strength  
tao:  
jongin: teleportation  
sehun:

 **iwillsooyou** done

 **bacon** wow moms of a feather flock together

 **iwillsooyou**??? i'm not a mom wtf

 **loey** ngl soo you kinda are

 **chendae** ^

 **mom** Can confirm

 **iwillsooyou** why

 **kaa** you're mom 2

 **t a o** do you have a mommy kink

 **kaa** fuck off

 **iwillsooyou** fuck off

 **bacon** minseok: snow/ice manip  
luhan: telekinesis  
yifan:  
junmyeon:  
yixing:  
baekhyun: light manip  
jongdae: thunder/lightning manip  
chanyeol:  
kyungsoo: earth manip/super strength  
tao:  
jongin: teleportation  
sehun:

 **t a o** wheN WILL YOU LEARN

 **lay's potato chips** minseok: snow/ice manip  
luhan: telekinesis  
yifan:  
junmyeon:  
yixing: healing  
baekhyun: light manip  
jongdae: thunder/lightning manip  
chanyeol:  
kyungsoo: earth manip/super strength  
tao:  
jongin: teleportation  
sehun:

 **loey** tHaT yOuR aCtIoNs HaVe CoNsEqUeNcEs

 **yehet** minseok: snow/ice manip  
luhan: telekinesis  
yifan:  
junmyeon:  
yixing: healing  
baekhyun: light manip  
jongdae: thunder/lightning manip  
chanyeol:  
kyungsoo: earth manip/super strength  
tao:  
jongin: teleportation  
sehun: wind manip

 **t a o** @ **loey** IM NOT QUOTING VINES NOW FUCK YOU

 **t a o** minseok: snow/ice manip  
luhan: telekinesis  
yifan:   
junmyeon:   
yixing: healing  
baekhyun: light manip  
jongdae: thunder/lightning manip  
chanyeol:  
kyungsoo: earth manip/super strength  
tao: time manip  
jongin: teleportation  
sehun: wind manip

 **t a o** @ **kaa** WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO R E S P E C T YOUR ELDERS

 **galaxy fanfan** minseok: snow/ice manip  
luhan: telekinesis  
yifan: flight  
junmyeon: water manip  
yixing: healing  
baekhyun: light manip  
jongdae: thunder/lightning manip  
chanyeol:   
kyungsoo: earth manip/super strength  
tao: time manip  
jongin: teleportation  
sehun: wind manip

 **loey** minseok: snow/ice manip  
luhan: telekinesis  
yifan: flight  
junmyeon: water manip  
yixing: healing  
baekhyun: light manip  
jongdae: thunder/lightning manip  
chanyeol: fire manip  
kyungsoo: earth manip/super strength  
tao: time manip  
jongin: teleportation  
sehun: wind manip

 **lay's potato chips** why super strength though @ **iwillsooyou**

 **iwillsooyou** why not

 **mom** Did you mean

 **luge** oh no

 **lay's potato chips** hoE DON'T DO IT

 **mom** SOOper strength?

 **yehet** kill me

 **iwillsooyou** gladly

 **kaa** honestly soo-hyung could kill me and i'd thank him

 **bacon** kinky

 **chendae** so now we know who tops huh

 **t a o** lmao no kyungsoo's a b o t t o m

 **kaa** shit like this is the reason why you won't earn my respect

 **marshmallow** How,,,, do you even,,,, know

 **t a o** oh right you weren't in the group yet

 **t a o** but basically i walked in on jongin literally about to fuck kyungsoo in an apron

 **marshmallow** I'm sorry I asked

 **luge** tao for fuck's sake can you not say shit like this in the group hklfjlskdjf

 **mom** Literally no one asked

 **t a o** okay but am i wrong though

 **yehet** honestly same

 **yehet** jongin may be a chicken irl but onstage hes a beast and it probably translates to the bedroom

 **iwillsooyou** there are some things that are meant to be said and others that are meant to be kept to oneself

 **iwillsooyou** you, evidently, can't distinguish between the two

 **kaa** ^^^^

 **yehet** okay but kyungsoo lowkey has bde too

 **yehet** so he could be a power bottom? or maybe they switch?

 **t a o** omg,,, ya,,,,

 _kaa_ has removed _t_ _a o_ and _yehet_

 **bacon**...so you top, huh

 _iwillsooyou_ has removed _bacon_

 **galaxy fanfan** every day we stray further from god's light

 **mom** I'm Buddhist

 **galaxy fanfan** every day we stray further from **the light

 **chendae** mood

 **lay's potato chips** honestly how do we always manage to do this

 **lay's potato chips** literally any innocuous topic de-escalates into sex-related shit or tao demanding jongin's respect

 **luge** it do be that way sometimes

 **loey** i just wanted to write fic

 **marshmallow** We know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you didn't catch it, the first part of this chapter was lowkey a mama shitpost


	19. barista jongdae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jongdae accidentally confesses his feelings for minseok in the group chat and minseok recruits prospective cafe workers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has a little less crack and more of feelings and emotions
> 
> WARNING: one short line of implied sexual content

**chendae** chanyeol you fuck

 **chendae** why did you kill me

 **loey** in life, sacrifices need to be made

 **loey** smooth seas never made a fine sailor

 **chendae** yes but you didn't have to kill chen off!!!!!

 **chendae** how's xiu gonna cope then hdsklfjsdlkj

 **loey** relax dude

 **loey** i was gonna resurrect you anyway

 **chendae** now you've just spoiled the plot

 **chendae** and i don't want to read the fic anymore hhfkldsjflksdj

 **loey** bitch you aren't even a main character stfu

 **chendae** FIGHT ME YOU ASSTWIT

 **chendae** also why's the xiuchen arc progressing so slowly

 **chendae** kadi and taoxun already had their stories when're you going to start on xiuchen

 **loey** if you're so critical of my fic then why don't you write it yourself

 **chendae** lmao no i can't write for shit

 **loey** then don't criticise my writing

 **loey** you can't demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you

 **chendae** my apologies

 **loey** it's cool

 **loey** anyway

 **loey** how's it going with minseok-hyung

 **chendae** amazing

 **chendae** he's so nice and helpful

 **chendae** on top of being super cute

 **chendae** i think i really like him

 **chendae** but idk if i should confess i'm terrified

 **loey** it's been about two months though

 **loey** this is just my opinion but i think you should wait it out for a while

 **loey** yall haven't been acquainted for long you don't know if it's really legit feelings or just a passing crush

 **chendae** i have!!!

 **chendae** we started talking in soph year cos i kept going to the cafe remember

 **loey** ya but you two were acquaintances

 **loey** you've only been proper friends for about two months

 **chendae** jongin and kyungsoo literally got together the day after they met and they're doing amazingly

 **chendae** tao and sehun started going out after 1++++ months?

 **loey** ya but 

**loey** each pair's dynamic is different

 **loey** idw to be pessimistic but just because jongin/kyungsoo and tao/sehun are going strong doesn't mean you will too

 **chendae** sigh

 **chendae** i know

 **chendae** it's just

 **chendae** i haven't had feelings like this in so long

 **chendae** he's such a good listener and even though we haven't been friends for long i consider him a really close friend

 **chendae** i'm never afraid to go to him for advice whenever i need help

 **chendae** i think i really like him

 **chendae** but he probably doesn't like me back that way

 **loey** hey hey it's okay

 **loey** you don't have to think about it so fast

 **loey** just continue to build up your relationship with him

 **loey** and see how it goes

 **loey** if you still like him after a while, maybe you can consider taking a step

 **loey** but all at your own pace

 **chendae** ig

 **chendae** thanks man

 **galaxy fanfan** um

 **galaxy fanfan** you do realise this is the gc right

 **loey** what

 **chendae** what

 **chendae** oH FUCK

 **loey** I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE DMS HHDKSLFJSLKDJF

 **chendae** AKLSDJFALKSJDKLF I NEED TO DELETE THE MESSAGES

 **iwillsooyou** hyung idt you can delete that many messages that fast

 **bacon** um not to put you in a further crisis but

 **bacon** minseok-hyung's online

 **chendae** FUCK

 **chendae** HOW DO I DELETE THEM ALL

 **bacon** HHSDLKFJSLDK GLUCK MAN IDK

 **lay's potato chips** he's talking with lu-ge atm tho

 **lay's potato chips** i'll ask him to stall

 **yehet** uk you can just remove minseok-hyung and add him back right

 **chendae** oh

 **chendae** omg

 **chendae** can sb else do it though i feel bad removing him

 **lay's potato chips** oh my god

 _lay's potato chips_ has removed _marshmallow_

 **lay's potato chips** you're welcome

 _lay's potato chips_ added _marshmallow_ to the group

 **kaa** lmao

 **marshmallow** What

 **kaa** nothing

 **marshmallow** What did i do

 **t a o** tldr what happened lmao

 **loey** jongdae and i were fucking around and he tried to remove me lol

 **chendae** totally

 **t a o** ah

 **luge** "fucking around"

 **bacon** why didn't you invite me :(

 **loey** no omg

 **loey** he was just bashing me for the fic

 **marshmallow** Ah

 **marshmallow** I actually haven't been keeping up with it

 **marshmallow** How's it going?

 **mom** Do you want spoilers

 **yehet** do nOT

 **yehet** im literally reading it at this moment

 **marshmallow** Oh btw

 **marshmallow** The cafe's looking for part timers

 **marshmallow** If you're interested lmk

 **kaa** omo

 **kaa** what jobs

 **marshmallow** Any lol

 **iwillsooyou** do they have vacancies for cooks

 **iwillsooyou** i wouldn't mind taking up another part-time job

 **marshmallow** Sure ig

 **kaa** ooo idm signing up as a waiter too

 **bacon** aw

 **marshmallow** We need pastry chefs more than cooks tho

 **luge** i can bake!!

 **galaxy fanfan** no you can't

 **luge** i cAN

 **mom** The last time you came over you burned the cookies and nearly burned the kitchen

 **mom** The last time before that you came over to bake you put salt instead of sugar

 **galaxy fanfan** your decorating skills suck

 **galaxy fanfan** your works need to be presentable

 **t a o** ngl the taste kinda

 **t a o** sucks

 **t a o** sorry

 **luge** i came out to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

* * *

**chendae** beagles

 **bacon** ay

 **loey** ay

 **chendae** should i say i can go

 **bacon** omg go for it

 **bacon** you can get close to minseok-hyung!!!

 **loey** do you have a barista license tho

 **chendae**...fuck

 **chendae** i mean i took classes

 **chendae** but i had to drop out

 **bacon** it's okay minseok-hyung has one!!!

 **bacon** anyway they'll probably train you

 **loey** just go for it man

 **loey** maybe minseok-hyung'll be the one training you hoho

 **chendae** aight

 **chendae** hhhhhhh

* * *

**yehet** im broke so idm being a waiter

 **t a o** same

 **mom** I don't mind being a pastry chef

 **mom** But do we need any qualifications?

 **marshmallow** Honestly as long as you can bake decently it's good

 **iwillsooyou** if it helps i have my cooking license

 **luge** wait omg you do??

 **t a o** ya lol

 **t a o** he got it at the beginning of the year

 **t a o** uk how much he loves cooking

 **luge** ya but i didn't think he'd get a cooking license so fast

 **iwillsooyou** i was bored lol

 **marshmallow** Okay wait so

 **marshmallow** **THOSE INTERESTED IN SIGNING UP**  
_**Baristas  
Chefs  
**_Kyungsoo

 _ **Pastry chefs  
**_Junmyeon

 _ **Waiters  
**_Jongin  
Sehun  
Zitao

 **chendae** wait

 **chendae** idm signing up as a barista

 **luge** oh?

 **chendae** i need some extra cash anyway

 **lay's potato chips** :)))

 **chendae** stop that

 **chendae** @ **marshmallow** do i need to have a barista license tho?

 **chendae** i took classes before but i had to drop out 

**marshmallow** That's okay haha there's training

 **chendae** aight okay

 **marshmallow** **THOSE INTERESTED IN SIGNING UP**  
_**Baristas  
**_Jongdae

 _ **Chefs  
**_Kyungsoo

 _ **Pastry chefs  
**_Junmyeon

 _ **Waiters  
**_Jongin  
Sehun  
Zitao

 **marshmallow** This good?

 **t a o** ay

 **lay's potato chips** omg i just realised two of the couples are going together lol

 **lay's potato chips** yifan-ge why not join junmyeon hahaha

 **galaxy fanfan** i'll pass

 **galaxy fanfan** busy teaching the kids + writing

 **yehet** aw :(

 **mom** It's okay haha

 **mom** He's already pretty busy so it's better for him that he still has some time to rest rather than taking on more than he can handle

 **mom** Anyway the cafe will probably be chaotic enough with two couples

 **kaa** hey we behave!

 **t a o** again

 **t a o** walked in on you about to fuck kyungsoo in the kitchen

 **iwillsooyou** WILL YOU LET THAT GO FOR FUCK'S SAKE

 **iwillsooyou** i'd never let him do that at work when the kitchen is a hazard

 **yehet** sure lmao

 **kaa** pls the two of you are hornier than omegaverse abo wolves during heats

 **luge** LMAO

 **luge** OMEGAVERSE ABO WOLVES

 **t a o** JJDFJLKSFJSLKDJ

 **t a o** RESPECC

 **kaa** NEVER

 **galaxy fanfan** that joke is so overused it's not even funny anymore

 **bacon** give him a break he doesn't have a sense of humour that's why he always reuses the same ones

 **t a o** i-

 **lay's potato chips** where's the lie tho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chanyeol's quote about not demanding a service from someone whom you simultaneously degrade was taken from [this](https://jxsmo.tumblr.com/post/127298304916/thempress-people-look-down-on-mcdonalds) post


	20. we are one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baekhyun has a dream and chanyeol becomes inspired to start yet another fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm working on a krisho side story! it's about halfway done, and i'll post it up together with one of the next chapters :)
> 
> see if you can spot the references i made throughout the fic!

**bacon** had a wack ass dream that we were all in a kpop band together

 **lay's potato chips** omg

 **lay's potato chips** it's been 84 years

 **iwillsooyou** for context: baekhyun-hyung rarely dreams but when he does they're detailed af and usually some trippy au shit

 **kaa** :o

 **kaa** how did it go?

 **bacon** funnily enoughour concept was that we were aliens from another planet who had landed on earth, but we'd been separated into two groups aka two subunits

 **bacon** and we had to find our way back to each other but we were in different dimensions on the same earth or something

 **chendae** why does that sound like chanyeol's fic

 **luge** lmao ikr

 **bacon** so anyway we're in our two subunits and it's exactly the same as in yeol's fic

 **bacon** china gang + minseok-hyung and jongdae are the chinese subunit and the rest of us the korean subunit

 **yehet** have you been reading too much of the exodus

 **bacon** listen when your boyfriend is the author you get the fic + fic enquiries and opinions + having to beta read

 **yehet** fair

 **galaxy fanfan** were we successful

 **bacon** ya

 **bacon** but you, luhan-hyung and tao left

 **t a o** what why :(

 **bacon** we were under essem

 **bacon** and yall know how shitty they are towards their china artists

 **luge** why tf were we under essem

 **luge** should've auditioned for jaywaipee instead

 **marshmallow** ^^^

 **lay's potato chips** "essem"

 **iwillsooyou** "jaywaipee"

 **bacon** yea anyway that's mostly all i remember

 **marshmallow** That was oddly specific

 **bacon** it do be like that

 **loey** omg

 **loey** i'm inspired

 **iwillsooyou** to?

 **loey** write another fic

 **mom** Do you have that much time

 **loey** i will

 **chendae** mood

 **galaxy fanfan** i wanna be main vocal

 **mom** What

 **iwillsooyou** what

 **loey** have you heard _baekhyun_ sing

 **loey** boi can hit notes higher than yixing-hyung on weed

 **lay's potato chips** can confirm

 **galaxy fanfan** hitting high notes doesn't make you the best vocalist!!

 **kaa** soo-hyung sings well!

 **iwillsooyou** no i don't

 **kaa** yes you do!

 **iwillsooyou** my voice cracks

 **kaa** but your singing voice is beautiful

 **iwillsooyou**...thanks?

 **t a o** holy shit

 **t a o** kyungsoo's blushing

 **t a o**

**iwillsooyou** you fuck

 **luge** omg so cute lmao

 **yehet**

**yehet** you and loverboy match

 **kaa**

**yehet** biTCh

 **kaa** you started it

 **loey** HAHAHAHA

 **chendae** im cRYING HHFDSLKJF

 **luge** LMAO

 **chendae** i wanna be main dancer!!

 **chendae** i can be the chensing machine :3

 **lay's potato chips** um

 **lay's potato chips** sure

 **chendae** are you questioning my dance prowess >:(

 **luge** yes

 **yehet** yes

 **kaa** yes

 **chendae** the sLANDER

 **marshmallow** I think you would make a great main vocalist though

 **chendae** ah i don't think i sing very well though

 **marshmallow** What are you talking about

 **marshmallow** You have amazing stability and range

 **marshmallow** And your voice has a beautiful timbre

 **chendae** (⁄ ⁄•⁄_⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

 **galaxy fanfan** excuse me i believe you've left me out

 **galaxy fanfan** i could easily be a lead dancer too

 **t a o** you, a lead dancer?

 **t a o** lmao

 **galaxy fanfan** if you want others to treat you with respect learn to have some yourself you ungrateful bastard twerp

 **luge** "ungrateful bastard twerp"

 **yehet** dancers as main dancers pls

 **yehet** we have twelve people we can afford three main dancers

 **loey** that works ig

 **mom** I could be lead vocalist lol

 **luge** same

 **bacon** what no

 **bacon** you literally take vocal music you're a main vocal wth

 **loey** lmao gimme 5 mins i'll write the positions based on your vibes haha

 **loey** minseok: lead vocalist, lead dancer, sub rapper  
lu han: main vocalist, lead dancer  
yifan: leader of china gang + minseok and jongdae, main rapper, sub vocalist  
junmyeon: leader of korean gang - minseok and jongdae, lead vocalist  
yixing: main dancer, lead vocalist, sub rapper  
baekhyun: main vocalist  
jongdae: main vocalist  
chanyeol: main rapper, sub vocalist  
kyungsoo: main vocalist  
zitao: lead rapper, lead dancer, sub vocalist  
jongin: main dancer, lead rapper, sub vocalist  
sehun: main dancer, lead rapper

 **chendae** why aren't i main dancer

 **loey** because dance club ppl are already main dancers

 **chendae** then why aren't i lead dancer

 **loey** because they're better than you in dancing

 **chendae** >:(

 **galaxy fanfan** chanyeol you were my favourite son

 **galaxy fanfan** i told you i wanted to be the main vocalist and lead dancer

 **mom** Hey at least you're a sub vocalist

 **lay's potato chips** yes! it's better than nothing lol

 **mom** Also you're one of the best at rapping among us

 **mom** You fit main rapper more

 **galaxy fanfan** ig

 **galaxy fanfan** why am i leader tho

 **kaa** because you're dad

 **kaa** mom is the korean leader and you're the chinese leader ig

 **loey** so i'm going with this yea

 **loey** gonna make an au for the exodus gang

 **loey** what should i call them

 **mom** EXO

 **mom** Then the subunits are EXO-K and EXO-M for the korean and chinese gang respectively

 **luge** yes very smart

 **loey** h

 **loey** i will write

 **loey** when i get the inspiration

 **marshmallow** Wait

 **marshmallow** Isn't there supposed to be a visual

 **marshmallow** Idol groups usually have visuals right

 **lay's potato chips** how can we have a visual when we are all visuals

 **marshmallow** I-

 **luge** that

 **luge** that actually made me soft

 **t a o** soft hours uwu

 **loey** what would our slogan be

 **iwillsooyou** how about we are one, let's love

 **iwillsooyou** then everytime one of the leaders says "we are", the characters respond with "one, let's love"

 **marshmallow** Omg that's smart

 **loey** :o

 **loey** the fic is good to go

 **loey** now i just need to write it when i have time

 **mom** "When you have time"

 **loey** listen i will make time pls leave me alone

 **kaa** mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some things i'm rolling with as opposed to what kprofiles, famous kpop group member profiles page, has said:  
> 1\. lu han is listed as a lead vocal, but in happy camp he was listed a main vocal, so i'm rolling with that because honestly with his vocal improvements over the years he deserves the main vocal position  
> 2\. jongin was lead rapper of exo-k back when exo-k and exo-m were things so i'm bringing back lead rapper jongin  
> 3\. i don't remember whether yixing was lead or sub vocalist in exo-m but lines and technique wise he fits the lead vocalist position more imo  
> 4\. minseok was a lead dancer! he was in the dance line for the mama breakdown


	21. yam balls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the cafe staff discuss the different types of waters served in the cafe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jay and i were discussing what boba would be described as and jay coined the term yam balls for the pearls,,,,,,,, what have we come to,,,,,,,,
> 
> the aforementioned krisho oneshot has been posted and added to the series! you can check it out [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25373914)!

_t a o_ created group "bean water gang"

 _t a o_ added _marshmallow_ , _mom_ , _chendae_ , _iwillsooyou_ , _kaa_ and _yehet_ to the group

 **chendae** you do realise that they don't just sell coffee right

 **t a o** whatever

 **t a o** go back to your leaf juice

 **iwillsooyou** leaf what

 **yehet** bean water = coffee

 **yehet** leaf juice = tea

 **kaa** uk not all tea is made from leaves right

 **t a o** jongin

 **t a o** how many As have i gotten this summer

 **kaa** ...zero??

 **t a o** exactly

 **t a o** that is precisely the number of fucks i give about your statement

 **iwillsooyou** we haven't had exams yet you can't use that against jongin

 **mom** Did you create this group for the sole purpose of roasting Jongin

 **t a o** yes but also no

 **t a o** i created it so we wouldn't spam the other group with work stuff

 **iwillsooyou** how uncharacteristically considerate of you

 **t a o** fuck you

 **marshmallow** On an unrelated note

 **marshmallow** How are you guys finding training so far?

 **chendae** i've lowkey forgotten all the stuff i learned last time lol

 **yehet** i didnt think id need to learn how to be a barista too??

 **marshmallow** Yea sorry about that :/

 **marshmallow** Idk why the manager suddenly wanted all waiters to train as baristas too

 **mom** Probably because the cafe has fewer baristas?

 **marshmallow** True

 **yehet** bean water and leaf juice got me thinking

 **yehet** what's boba

 **marshmallow** Yam ball cow leaf juice

 **t a o** what in the fresh FUCK

 **mom** ???????

 **marshmallow** So basically it was about a month ago when we were at peak hour

 **marshmallow** And we were still understaffed back then, and we happened to be getting a lot of bubble tea orders, but we ran out of pearls

 **marshmallow** So jinki hyung, in panic, deadass screams 

**marshmallow** CHANGMIN HYUNG WE NEED THE YAM BALLS

 **kaa** HAHAHAHAHA JINKI HYUNG SAID THAT??????

 **marshmallow** Yes HAHA

 **yehet** JKSLDFJSLKDJF YAM BALLS

 **mom** Idk if I want to know how cow leaf juice came about

 **marshmallow** It was nothing spectacular

 **marshmallow** Changmin hyung was like "what the fLYING FUCK are YAM BALLS" and jinki hyung just replied "yOU KNOW THE THINGS WE PUT IN COW LEAF JUICE"

 **marshmallow** Idk how the hell changmin hyung understood it but he did lol

 **iwillsooyou**??? what even is cow leaf juice???

 **marshmallow** Cow juice and leaf juice = milk and tea = milk tea

 **t a o** i

 **chendae** i don't think i'll ever see boba the same way again

 **iwillsooyou** where did bean water and leaf juice even come from?

 **kaa** hyung have you never watched atla

 **iwillsooyou** no?

 **yehet** gasp

 **yehet** uncultured

 **yehet** cancelled

 **chendae** kyungsoo how DARE

* * *

**chendae** can yall beLIEVE kyungsoo has NEVER watched atla

 **luge** WHAT

 **bacon** THE AUDACITY

 **lay's potato chips** what's atla

 **loey** what's atla?

 **loey** wHAT'S ATLA?????

 **iwillsooyou** no need to overreact i'm not the only one who hasn't watched it

 **galaxy fanfan** ya i've also never watched it

 **lay's potato chips** same

 **yehet** im so disappointed

 **yehet** atla is a classic how can yall never have watched it before

 **t a o** water

 **bacon** earth

 **luge** fire

 **yehet** air

 **loey** long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony

 **kaa** then, everything changed when the fire nation attacked

 **chendae** only the avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them

 **luge** but when the world needed him most, he vanished

 **bacon** a hundred years passed and my brother and i discovered the new avatar, an airbender named aang

 **t a o** and although his airbending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone

 **yehet** but i believe aang can save the world

 **mom** I don't understand

 **iwillsooyou** i didn't ask to know about atla i just wanted to know where leaf juice originated from

 **luge** it IS from atla

 **luge** when iroh offered zuko tea the boi was like tHiS tEa Is NoThInG mOrE tHaN hOt LeAf JuIcE

 **lay's potato chips** oh

 **galaxy fanfan** why were you even talking about leaf juice

 **kaa** tao named the other group bean water gang and then jongdae-hyung brought up leaf juice

 **kaa** we also found out that apparently cosmic cafe refers to boba as yam ball cow leaf juice

 **lay's potato chips** yam what

 **mom** You read that correctly

 **loey** do we want to know how it originated

 **yehet** no

 **luge** that's rough buddy

* * *

**chendae** beagles

 **chendae** should i confess to minseok-hyung

 **loey** it's been like

 **loey** two weeks

 **loey** since we had this convo

 **loey** are you actually ready to confess to him

 **chendae** i think i am

 **chendae** idk i've been thinking about it a lot

 **chendae** and i feel like i really need to get it off my chest

 **chendae** esp since i'll be seeing him more often

 **bacon** you do realise that if he doesn't reciprocate and rejects you

 **bacon** it'll be awkward right

 **chendae** i'm prepared for that

 **chendae** even if he doesn't accept my feelings, i'll still be his friend unconditionally

 **bacon** are you sure about that

 **bacon** idw you to hurt, you know

 **chendae** why would i hurt

 **chendae** it wouldn't be his fault that he didn't reciprocate

 **loey** if you say so

 **chendae** h

 **chendae** thanks for the support

 **chendae** ig i'll...do it some day

 **bacon** just take care of yourself too okay?

 **chendae** mm i will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> atla and tlok were part of my childhood - admittedly, i haven't watched the ENTIRE series but i've seen the majority of it and recently youtube has been recommending me clips hhhhh
> 
> i'm starting university in just over two weeks so my updates will get even more infrequent :( but i'll do my best to update whenever i can!


	22. junhee best girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the members clown each other for their nicknames and pick the best girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw exo + krishantao, 12 men, are prettier than me, a girl

**lay's potato chips** you will never guess who has the sappiest pet name for his boyfriend

 **galaxy fanfan** shut

 **kaa** omo

 **kaa** who is it

 **galaxy fanfan** yixing if you don't shut the fuck up

 **yehet**.

 **yehet** _myeonie_

 **chendae** OH MY GOD

 **chendae** HAHAHAHAHAHA

 **mom** WHY

 **bacon** M Y E O N I E

 **t a o**

**t a o** gasp

 **t a o** omo

 **t a o** wow

 **t a o** who knew dad had feelings

 **loey**

**loey**

**galaxy fanfan** chanyeol

**loey**

**galaxy fanfan** chanyeol stop

 **loey**

**loey**

**loey**

**loey** you can't look at these and not think he is a SOFT MAN

 **loey** yifan-hyung has the resting face of a murderer and the personality of a 17 y/o boy smitten with the lohl

 **iwillsooyou** pls he IS smitten with the lohl he and junmyeon-hyung literally got together when he was 17

 **mom** Stop talking as if we aren't here

 **mom** Why must you clown us

 **marshmallow** Do you have a pet name for yifan then

 **yehet** he does

 **marshmallow** Oh?

 **mom** Oh Sehun

 **yehet** _fanfan_

 **luge** _benben_

 **galaxy fanfan** THAT LAST ONE'S FROM MY MOM YOU FUCK

 **chendae** fanfan

 **chendae** FANFAN

 **loey** why is that lowkey sweet tho

 **mom** _S t o p_

 **lay's potato chips** it's cute!!!!

 **bacon** so all this time you have been feeding us false information with your fake heterosexual nicknames for one another

 **bacon** fan who? jun who? i only know fanfan and myeonie

 **galaxy fanfan** stfu

 **galaxy fanfan** you literally have 1748032 names for yourself

 **mom** Yea like who even says "hi guys I'm Baekhyun but you can call me Bacon"

 **bacon** ALSDKFJALSDJFLKSDJF

 **bacon** DON'T BRING THAT BACK PLSADKJFASLDKJFSD

 **marshmallow** "Baekkie"

 **loey** it's cute :((

 **iwillsooyou** k

 **t a o** JSDKFJLSKDJF

 **loey** sooooooo :(((

 **luge** let's not forget

 **luge**

**luge** _baekhee_

 **marshmallow** I am: disgusted

 **t a o** HAHAHAHAHAH

 **yehet** LMAO "BAEKHEE"

 **yehet** WHEN DID YOU DO THAT HAHAHAHA

 **loey** it was some orientation game forfeit

 **loey** baek lost so he had to crossdress lmao

 **kaa** chanyeol: i am both frightened and aroused

 **loey** mood

 **bacon** okay but i look good

 **iwillsooyou** ...sure

 **bacon** >:(

 **t a o** ngl he does look kinda good though

 **bacon** yes thank you

 **lay's potato chips** yall are forgetting about junmyeon

 **mom** Oh no

 **lay's potato chips**

**yehet** holy fuck

 **yehet** you actually look rly good wtf

 **mom** I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

 **luge** omg wasn't this for that school festival two years back

 **lay's potato chips** ya lol

 **iwillsooyou** why did you even crossdress for the school festival

 **marshmallow** It was for council

 **marshmallow** I forgot how but we were assigned a timeslot in the concert and they wanted some of the council members to perform something by girl's day

 **marshmallow** And junmyeon was chosen because he was one of the prettiest

 **bacon** i would be jealous but mom really is one of the prettiest among us

 **loey** lol why isn't dad saying anything

 **t a o** probably went to jack off

 **yehet** or fuck mom

 **luge** for once in your life can you refrain from saying this kind of shit in the group

 **loey** where's the lie tho

 **kaa** THE FACT THAT HE ACTUALLY _WOULD_ IS EXACTLY WHY WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS KIND OF SHIT

 **galaxy fanfan** some of us have lives and can't afford to be online 24/7

 **t a o** did you fuck your myeonie ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **mom** Stfu "Taozi"

 **t a o** nO-

 **yehet** LMAO

 **galaxy fanfan** you too "hunah"

 **kaa** JFKLSDFJSLDKJ LMAOOOOO

 **iwillsooyou** how creative

 **t a o** you're one to talk when you coined the name nini for your loverboy

 **kaa** listen buddy if you ever want me to respect you you're gonna have to try a little harder than that

 **luge** and the saga continues

 **chendae** okay but

 **chendae** vote for your best girl

 **chendae** i vote baekhee

 **loey** i vote baekhee

 **luge** _whipped_

 **lay's potato chips** but does your baekhee have legs like THIS

 **lay's potato chips**

**mom** Stop embarrassing me

 **chendae** lmao at this rate dad'll really bust a nut

 **galaxy fanfan** shut

 **iwillsooyou** the second hand embarrassment is too much

 **yehet** lol i vote junhee

 **t a o** same

 **marshmallow** Idk i'd vote baekhee

 **marshmallow** The sailor uniform appeals to me more

 **bacon** is this a sailor uniform kink lol

 **marshmallow** Nvm i vote junhee

 **bacon** NOOOOOOOOO

 **lay's potato chips** junhee best girl

 **iwillsooyou** junhee best girl

 **kaa** junhee best girl

 **galaxy fanfan** junhee best girl

 **yehet** junhee best girl

 **bacon** junhee best girl

 **mom** Idk how to feel knowing I'm best girl

 **t a o** hey you may be everyone's best girl but you're dad's best boy

 **iwillsooyou** did you just flirt for yifan-hyung

 **t a o** yes

 **galaxy fanfan** mood

 **chendae** fanfan's w h i p p e d for myeonie uwu

 **yehet** lol look whos talking you call minseok-hyung minnie

 **yehet** wait fuck

 **yehet** ignore those two deleted mssgs they were typos

 **marshmallow**...you call me minnie?

 **t a o**...oh my god

 **chendae** no i don't?

 **chendae** hahahaha

 **marshmallow** Um

 **marshmallow** Okay

 **luge** oh

* * *

_hyung i am so sorry i didnt mean for that to slip out_

_i thought he might not see if i deleted it asap but he still did_

...it's okay

he probably knows now

i shouldn't have kept it from him so long anyway

i guess i have to tell him how i feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment who you think is prettier between the two! :3
> 
> from here on updates will definitely slow down because i'm literally starting orientation tomorrow :<


	23. still friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jongdae finally confesses to minseok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK AFTER 175089238094283 YEARS
> 
> it's my mid-semester break so i'm FINALLY updating! i'm so sorry for the wait and the angst :( i'll do my best to post another couple of chapter, and to try and recalibrate my schedule to include posting in it!

Jongdae finished wringing the dishcloth, watching the water drip into the sink for a few moments, and hung it back up on the hook. He cast a glance at Minseok, who was sweeping the last corner of the cafe, and pursed his lips together nervously.

Today was the day that he would finally confess to Minseok. Though Minseok had continued acting normally towards him after that day he found out Jongdae called him "Minnie", there was still some considerable tension on the part of the younger - a feeling that was rather foreign after the months of intimacy and familiarity he had nurtured with the elder.

In the last hour of his shift, he'd excused himself to the bathroom for a "poopie", as he'd so embarrassingly phrased his call for a toilet break, and then virtually ranted to the _beagles_ group chat about confessing. Following a series of motivational "it's okay!"s, "you got this bubz"s and encouraging words of the sort, he'd spent the rest of his shift focusing on serving the customers as a way to calm down and distract himself.

Now, as he washed his hands with soap and dried them, he realised he still wasn't ready to confess to Minseok - heck, even a thousand years later he probably wouldn't have the balls to inform Minseok of his feelings - but he didn't want to drag it out any longer. So saying, he went to the employees' room and started changing into his thicker clothes, it being late autumn already.

A minute later, Minseok came into the room, yawning loudly and stretching his arms, and Jongdae grinned at him.

"Thanks for the hard work, hyung," he chirped, thankful that his cheerful voice betrayed none of the terror he was feeling at the moment. Minseok flashed a tired smile at him, and turned to the other locker to change into his own clothes; they were the only ones who were remaining, since it was their turn to close up the cafe. As they finished donning their coats and prepared to leave the cafe, Jongdae's heartbeat increased tenfold and he swore he was trembling.

"Dae?" Minseok said, pulling him out of his thoughts. "You okay?"

"Um," Jongdae replied, twiddling his thumbs together, "there's actually something I wanted to tell you."

Minseok cocked his head to one side quizzically, but remained silent; Jongdae took that as a sign to go on. He inhaled shakily, sending a final prayer to the heavens.

"I know we only started talking properly during the post-concert party back in July," he said, "and this is probably creepy, but I came back to Cosmic Cafe because I wanted to see you more often. So - I've basically had a crush on you since, like freshman year?"

Minseok raised his eyebrows ever so slightly, but Jongdae continued on, trying his best to appear as unbothered as possible.

"It was an amalgamation of your qualities, honestly," he went on, "your kindness and supporting nature, and how you're amazing at cheering us up and encouraging us - but...yeah. I like you."

"Ah." Minseok scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I'm flattered that you think that way about me, but I'm sorry - I don't see you romantically."

Jongdae deflated internally, but shook his head vigorously, partially to shake off the urge to curl up in shame.

"No no, it's alright!" He plastered a wide smile on his face. "I never expected you to reciprocate my feelings, and you don't have to feel obliged to return them or anything! I just wanted to tell you how I felt."

Minseok had a regretful look on his face, and Jongdae instantly felt bad for confessing.

"Hyung, please don't feel guilty for not returning my feelings," he fumbled, reaching out to pat Minseok's shoulder but stopping halfway, unsure whether the elder was comfortable with being touched. He opted to retract his hand instead, letting it hover awkwardly in front of his stomach. "If you need time away from me because my confession made you uncomfortable, it's completely okay. If you're alright still being my friend, you'll always have my friendship regardless." 

Minseok regarded Jongdae concernedly, almost as if he could tell the latter's smile was too forced, but refrained from making the situation even more awkward and discomforting the younger. He genuinely valued the friendship the two of them had built up over the past few months, and didn't want to lose Jongdae as a friend.

"Of course you're my friend, Jongdae," he replied carefully. "I really treasure the friendship we have." It was almost as if the last statement was an affirmation to Jongdae's implied "we'll never speak of this confession and continue being friends". 

Jongdae's smile softened, bearing some semblance of genuinity for the first time since they had started speaking.

"Let's go to the bus stop before the last bus departs," he suggested. Minseok nodded a tad too quickly, and they locked up the cafe, walking in awkward silence to the bus stop. When Minseok's bus came, he cast a last apologetic look to Jongdae, who grinned and waved him off.

The moment Minseok's bus had left, however, Jongdae's face fell and he slumped over in one of the seats, sending a message to the _beagles_ group. He plugged in his earphones the entire way home, trying not to think about how uncanny it was that music shuffle seemed to be playing the sad songs to reflect his glumness.

* * *

_Hey jongdae_

_You doing alright?_

yea?

why wouldn't i be haha

_Idk because_

_I know that even if you don't show it, i definitely affected you in some way_

hyung listen

you're my senior and my friend before anything

i wouldn't want my feelings to jeopardise our friendship

you don't need to feel awkward or bad for rejecting me

because i'll still be your friend

of course, if what i said made you uncomfortable and you want to take some time away from me, i understand

_No no_

_I was just worried i hurt you really badly_

_I suppose we won't dwell further on this then...?_

yup

* * *

 **chendae** i confessed

 **loey** how did it go

 **chendae** he rejected me

 **chendae** it's okay

 **chendae** i knew he didn't return my feelings

 **chendae** i just wanted to get it off my mind and let him know

 **chendae** we're still friends anyway, so it's aight

 **bacon** how are you holding up though

 **chendae** i'm fine!

 **chendae** really

 **bacon** you sure dae?

 **loey** you're welcome over if you wanna talk about it

 **chendae** i'm okay

 **chendae** for real

 **chendae** anyway today was a tiring day

 **chendae** so i'll just go home and get some rest

 **loey** if you say so

 **bacon** listen dae

 **bacon** we trust that you can take care of yourself

 **bacon** but if you need someone to talk to, we're right here

 **chendae** yeah

 **chendae** thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xiuchen's arc will be a little longer than the previous two arcs, but it'll be punctuated with crack and fluff to balance out the (kinda) angst :D


	24. among us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the members play among us. bridges are burned. friendships are broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lately i've been playing a lot of among us and i've actually made several online friends through playing it! the app is really cute and fun and tbh i'm a terrible impostor because i can't kill crewmates :(

**yehet** anyone up for a game of among us

 **galaxy fanfan** sehun it's 3am

 **yehet** i dont see YOU in bed

 **galaxy fanfan** i am in bed

 **galaxy fanfan** i'm just not asleep yet

 **t a o** it's ass o clock wtf

 **loey** omg yes among us

 **loey** i love it so much let's go

 **yehet** lmao jongin just woke up, told me to stfu, and went back to sleep

 **yehet**

**yehet** loser

 **galaxy fanfan** did

 **galaxy fanfan** did you turn on the lights

 **yehet** i sure did

 **t a o** lol you should send that to kyungsoo

 **t a o** i'll go wake him up

 **mom** Please don't

 **loey** rip soo lmao

 **yehet** so who else

 **yehet** @ **marshmallow**

 **yehet** @ **luge**

 **yehet** @ **lay's potato chips**

 **yehet** @ **bacon**

 **yehet** @ **chendae**

 **kaa** dude shut the fuck up i'll choke you i swear

 **bacon** kinky

 **bacon** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **kaa** this bitch didn't mute his notifs

 **kaa** i got woken up by the stupid katalk notifs

 **iwillsooyou** why was i woken up by tao

 **lay's potato chips** wtf it's 3

 **lay's potato chips** my phone's on vibration and i woke up bcos of the notifs

 **luge** ya thanks a lot

 **yehet** ok great we're all here

 **yehet** let's play among us

 **luge** dude i have a test tomorrow

 **luge** my lone brain cell needs to recuperate

 **yehet** oshit mb

 **iwillsooyou** i have at test tomorrow too

 **t a o** no you dont

 **t a o** you told me four hours ago that your next test is in two weeks

 **iwillsooyou** stfu

 **galaxy fanfan** i mean

 **galaxy fanfan** if jun plays i'll play too ig

 **mom** Same lol

 **mom** I guess a couple of rounds won't hurt

 **lay's potato chips** well thanks to yall i can't go back to sleep

 **lay's potato chips** so i'll play ig

 **loey** baek and i are down

 **iwillsooyou** i'm going back to sleep

 **t a o** i'll blast it at full volume

 **iwillsooyou** ffs

 **yehet** yehet i'll create a room

 **yehet** xwlkdf

 **yehet** @ **kaa** join fucker

 **kaa** oh fuck you

 **loey** join

 **bacon** join

 **yehet** join

 **kaa** one game

 **kaa** that's it

 **yehet** yes

* * *

 **bacon** where

 **mom** Where

 **galaxy fanfan** navig

**~~t a o~~ ** ~~I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D KILL ME, YOUR FAV SON, GE~~

**lay's potato chips** any sus

 **galaxy fanfan** nah didn't see anyone around

~~**loey** HYPOCRITES~~

**~~loey~~ ** ~~BOTH HYPOCRITES~~ ~~~~

**yehet** jongin was acting sus

**~~t a o~~ ** ~~alskdfalskjdf who got you~~ ~~~~

**yehet** he kept running in circles in weapons

**~~loey~~ ** ~~yixing hyung~~ ~~~~

**kaa** bruh no i'm just not used to using the joystick

**~~loey~~ ** ~~i have a feeling kyungsoo's the third imposter but idk~~ ~~~~

**iwillsooyou** i saw jongin clear the trash in storage tho

 **kaa** YES THANK YOU SOO HYUNG

 **yehet** where

~~**kaa** i trusted you~~

**~~kaa~~ ** ~~~~~~i can't believe you killed me~~

**iwillsooyou** electrical

~~**t a o** he's really self reporting himself huh~~

**~~galaxy fanfan~~ ** ~~he always does that~~ ~~~~

**mom** This is the second body you've reported so far

 **mom** You sure you aren't self reporting

 **iwillsooyou** no?

 **lay's potato chips** hm

~~**loey** ~~ ~~how does he always get away with it~~

**iwillsooyou** honestly junmyeon hyung's a little sus

 **mom** What

 **mom** Why me

 **yehet** come to think of it wont you at the reactor

 **lay's potato chips** ya you could have vented

 **mom** I was starting the reactor

 **iwillsooyou** i passed you otw to electrical

 **iwillsooyou** you could have killed jongin and left thereafter

 **bacon** ya true

**~~galaxy fanfan~~ ** ~~damn yixing and kyungsoo are good~~

~~**t a o** ~~ ~~gotta admit kyungsoo's good at this~~

**mom** It wasn't me wtf

**~~loey~~ ** ~~~~~~he IS and that's what makes it annoying to play with him~~

**bacon** proof

 **iwillsooyou** no time for that vote hyung

 **lay's potato chips** byebye

 **yehet** lol bye

 **mom** I finished calibrating the distributor in electrical and made my way to the reactor to start the reactor

* * *

 **bacon** yixing hyung i TRUSTED YOU

 **bacon** we were HOMIES

 **lay's potato chips** sorry dude

 **kaa** soo hyung you killed me

 **kaa** do i really mean nothing to you

 **iwillsooyou** an imposter's gotta do what they've gotta do

 **galaxy fanfan** facts

 **bacon** how does kyungsoo always get away as impo tho

 **bacon** his ability to cover himself astounds me

 **loey** soo could be a spy

 **mom** He could

 **yehet** another round?

 **kaa** no i'm tired

 **kaa** i'm going back to sleep

 **yehet** killjoy

 **mom** Sehun it's past 4

 **mom** We all need to sleep

 **galaxy fanfan** and we've played like 1579830 rounds

 **galaxy fanfan** tmr night

 **yehet** :(

 **lay's potato chips** sorry buddy

 **lay's potato chips** but we all gotta rest

 **bacon** :((

 **bacon** fair

 **loey** see yall tmr night then

 **iwillsooyou** **tonight

 **loey** yes yes tonight

 **t a o** aight

 **t a o** peace out

* * *

 **chendae** you guys played among us without me????????

 **marshmallow** 465 messages

 **marshmallow** Over among us

 **luge** thank fuck i muted my phone last night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what colour + hat do you give your characters by default? i main the brown player and use bear ears/the witch hat (which is only available during halloween season, if i'm not wrong)!
> 
> university is tiring and idk how the readers who've been through university survived ;-; please send tips how to survive hhhhh

**Author's Note:**

> the first ever exo fic i read was a group chat fic and i loved it so much i decided to write one myself
> 
> gosh i haven't written in like two years and i have another unfinished fic somewhere else but i'll burn that bridge when i get to it TvT
> 
> anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this so far! updates will be semi-regular and i will try my best to get a chapter up each week!
> 
> btw the abovementioned fic is dysfunctional family by alrightellie, (unfortunately) an orphan account, and i'd highly recommend giving it a read!


End file.
